The chess fear is real and quite understandable. Most of the time when I start a game I think to myself, "I don't want to do this. Why am I doing this?" But soon I'm lost in the puzzle of it. Solving problems, in other words, and not the kind out there, like COVID.
Most likely you haven't hit your true rating yet, and so you'll keep losing. It's all right. Even when you're at the correct level, you'll still lose about half the time.
Probably the best thing to fear is missing out on a fascinating hobby.
cc can send you an alert when its your move i daily chess , it may fill up your email account with messages though