Why does a beginner have this attitude?

I have a friend who has learnt chess and has been playing for three months. I watch her games and it is painful. She has a chess.com grade of between 100-200. I have a grade of 350-400. I had a BCF grade of about 115-120 in the 1980s but I stopped playing in the early 1990s. I started playing again when my friend took it up this year. I used to play league games for a club and tournament games. The time limits were something like 40 moves in 2 hours. I think I am at my level now because I win about half of my games when I play random people.

I watch my friend and she has a really bad attitude. Most games she puts her pieces where they can be taken and if her opponent does the same she doesnt take them. She likes to put her knights on the edge of the board. She also moves her knight pawns forward two squares so they can be taken. In about 50% of the games she leaves her queens hanging. She didnt like to castle and when I advised her to castle she would tell me it's a waste of time! She has started to castle sometimes but often she prefers to move her king one space towards the rook even when she can castle. She regularly gets her king chased around the board! An opponent will attack her knight with a pawn and she'll just let it get taken.

I have to admit that her opponents are not a lot better. The number of times I have seen mates in one not being noticed. The times I have seen stalemates is unbelieveable. Even when one player has a king, two or three queens and two rooks against a lone king they seem to move the pieces around at random without thinking of a system. When an opponent is moving a pawn up the board she will chase it with the king even when she cant reach it! I have seen her king under attack by many pieces and all she cares about is taking a pawn on the opposite side of the board!

When I try to give her advice she says she doesnt need my advice. It reminds me of a bricklayer who's walls always topple over and they just carry on.

I seriously dont think I could do a worse job if I tried to lose.

I know I cant help her but why does somebody have such a bad attitude at playing chess?

Is your problem with how she plays or with the fact that she declined your advice to improve her play? Did you spend any time thinking about why she plays chess?

She may very well enjoy playing but doesn't take the game seriously enough, to let her losses negatively impact her and/or to seek improvement as a player.

Another possibility that you may have neglected is your advice may have been declined because of how it was offered. It's clear that watching her play is a source of frustration to you and she could have picked up on that frustration based on the tone and word choice in how you offered your advice.

"Is your problem with how she plays or with the fact that she declined your advice to improve her play?"

It's how she plays.

"Did you spend any time thinking about why she plays chess?"

Yes. She plays chess because she thinks she is good at it. There was a discussion on twitter about women chess players and she said that women are better chess players than men.

"She may very well enjoy playing but doesn't take the game seriously enough, to let her losses negatively impact her and/or to seek improvement as a player."

I advised her to get a book "How to Win At Chess" and she bought it and she shows me her reading it. She told me she had read the section on ladder checkmates but she never puts it into practice!

"Another possibility that you may have neglected is your advice may have been declined because of how it was offered."

It cant be that because advice was offered kindly.

"It's clear that watching her play is a source of frustration to you and she could have picked up on that frustration based on the tone and word choice in how you offered your advice."

I didnt use a negative tone and word choice when offering your advice.

I appreciate you dont know the background and you are just speculating but just consider this: "In the opening she plays Nf3, her opponent plays g4 which threatens to take the knight. She plays Nc3. Opponent plays gxf3. Now I'm sure everybody has made that mistake a few times but she does the same thing in about 50% of her games."

She's just played a game where she moved every piece off the back rank except the king and fell to a back rank mate. This doesnt happen 50% of the time but she appeared to deliberately move her rooks and queen away to enable it and ignore her opponent's rook that had an open file.

At very low levels of skill, people often overestimate their understanding of a complex subject.

Maybe think about the way she sees Chess. Not as a real competition, but as a way to relax and pass the time. She may Not be a fully dedicated Chess player.

If that's the case, leave her be, and let her enjoy Chess the way she likes enjoying it.

Say hello to the Dunning-Kruger effect.

What's chess grade? I've heard of chess rating, but...

I doubt many people are "a fully dedicated Chess player". She's just told me her grade has improved and in the next week she says it will increase by 50% so I doubt she's just playing to relax and pass the time. She does notice the odd fork but even when her king is attacked by a queen, two rooks, bishop and knight with very little defence she still concentrates on capturing a pawn on the far side of the board.

I am amazed that when her or her opponents have an overwhelming advantage they still make no systematic attempt to win and instead move their pieces around at random until stalemate.

Stalemates better then checkmate

It's not a bad attitude. There's lots of different motivations for playing. If she wants to get better, she will ask for your help. Until then, let her play the game how she wants to play it.

Not for the player who is overwhelmingly ahead in pieces

She wants to get better but she wont ask for help. She thinks she will improve with very little thinking. I'm sure she will but not at the speed she expects to.

Maybe she wants to take it slow

Chess isnt going to go away. Maintaining interest is the key. Just let it play out.

Even though she tells me she will increase her grade by 50% in a week?

Some people are just delusional.

Some people might also just need things to be explained a bit more. For example, she may not castle until she has been punished enough times for leaving her king in the center. Until then, she likely won't castle. You'll have to demonstrate to her with examples, show how a king in the center is vulnerable, things like that. Opera game comes to mind. Steinitz - von barbeleden is also another example on uncastled king.

Of course, if she has no interest in learning from you then there's not much you can do.

Same at high levels of skill.

• When I try to give her advice she says she doesnt need my advice.
• There was a discussion on twitter about women chess players and she said that women are better chess players than men.
• She's just told me her grade has improved and in the next week she says it will increase by 50%...

Sounds like she's trolling you. Send her a link to this topic so we can test that theory.

You mentioned this person is a beginner.

Perhaps some fundamentals could help your friend:

1) learn positional advantage (e.g., gain control of the center, and your knights are weaker on the edge)

2) don't leave pieces undefended

3) learn the relative "value" of the pieces (king > queen > rook > bishop/knight > pawn)

That's not too sophisticated, and it should help her game.