1000 signs you're not a very good chess player


1. You celebrate for a day after getting your rating over 500

2. It takes you ten minutes to solve a mate in one puzzle

3. You try to move your bishop on your first turn

4.You move your king on the second

5. You have to ask your opponent what just happened when he king-side-castles

6. You stay at the board five minutes after the game thinking "I know this isn't checkmate"

7. You end up with two bishops on black

8. You cheer really loudly for yourself when you win a game

9. The pawn is your favorite piece because it can become anything once its promoted

10. You don't know what promoted means


please number the signs




lol this is pretty funny, keep on going here.




11. You don't understand why computer1 is EASY


12. You think people are crazy for when they say the daily puzzle is easy


please help me list more signs


13. Your opponent says "mate in 16" before his first move.


14. You lose to your pet hamster.

15. You are somehow very good at suicide chess.

16. Your king is behind your opponent's pawns after 30 moves.

17. You initiate the Fried Liver Attack, thinking you have achieved checkmate.

18. You capture your opponent's queen on the first move.

19. You think kings can move two squares forward on his first move.

20. You cry every time one of your pieces is captured.


22. You troll the Parham on chess.com.


23. When you get checked, you don't understand why you can't just play a check move yourself in response.

24. You just can't seem to take his dark square bishop with your light square bishop.

25. When your opponent castles queenside, you say, "Nuh-UH!"

26. You have ever managed 3 sets of doubled pawns.

27. Your opponent says checkmate, and you ask him if he's from Austrailia.

28. You've ever tried to take a pawn en passant... with your rook.

29. After the third Fool's Mate in a row, you exclaim, "How do you keep DOING THAT?!"

30. You think a chess club is a cane with a horse head on it.


31. You tend to fianchetto your rooks instead of your bishops

32. You fail to checkmate a opponent after being shown how to mate with a Queen, but you have 3 Queens.

How long to solve a mate in 1 http://www.chess.com/forum/view/more-puzzles/mate-in-one5 judge for yourself


33. You think that a piece that reaches the 1st or 8th rank gets promoted


when your draw offer sends the crowd into uncontrollable laughter


29. After the third Fool's Mate in a row, you exclaim, "How do you keep DOING THAT?!"


he he he


you give that "You are cheating face" when your opponent does an en- passat


You practiced your various checkmates for hours... and never once got a chance to use one.


30. You say 'King Me' when your pawn reaches the 8th rank. 


39. You try to promote any piece that makes it to the 8th rank.

40. You promote by flipping the piece over and putting another piece on top.