1000 signs you're not a very good chess player

du h. Whst is this

This

9887. this weird thing:

9888: You think stalemate means when you think for so long your pieces go stale

9889: You think this is checkmate.

9889: you think stalemate is when you check someone

9890: you think that when you capture, you take your piece of the board

9891: you lost over 1K games in a row against a 100 elo player

9892: you brag because you beat a 100 elo player

9893: you get fools mated 500 times

9894: ur just too bad

9895: you play chess over the board by stacking your pieces

9896: you shout chicken jockey when you stack your pieces

9897: you celebrate getting 10K reasons

9898: you like draws better than wins

9899: you fail to checkmate with a queen and king

9900: you think that f3 is the best opening

9901 you play while watching a movie about checkers

9902 you are white

9903: The only times you've won is when your opponent played like white in the post above

9904: Your opponent played like white in the post above and you stalemated

9905: Your opponent played like white in the post above and you lost

9906: The only times you've won is when your opponent played like white in the post above AND you used a chess engine to help you find the best move

9907: Your opponent played like white in the post above AND you used a chess engine to help you find the best move AND you still drew

9908: Your opponent played like white in the post above AND you used a chess engine to help you find the best move AND you lost

You sit on the chessboard.

Then you're probably a cat...

9910: you dont know what "material" is

9911: you think black goes first

9912: you try to play e5 as white on move 1

9913: You cant count

9914: you think the queen should be 7 points

9915: you dont know pawn king endgames

9916: or bishop

9917: or knight

9918: you dont know rook mate

9919: You think it's possible to mate with one bishop

9920: You think it's possible to mate with one knight

9921: You think it's possible to mate with two knights

9922: When playing otb blitz you end up with two same-squared bishops

actually 9921 is debatable lmao

You think #9910 (From post 9073) refers to the stuff on the bottom of the pieces.

9921 is possible

9923: you can’t beat blindfold martin

If u go on game review the both play like 1500s