1000 things a dumb chess player would do

17. thinks this is the stockfish best opening:

*475. *476.

477. en passant captures a knight (i did that once)

478. Annotates games like this:

495: permabans me from https://scratch.mit.edu/studios/5974533

496: thinks the advantage is math

497: calls rooks "towers"

498: castles kingside instead of queenside

499: uses blasters in splatoon

500: thinks that "we're halfway there" means his life is half over

501: ASKS ME WHY I SUPPORT UKRAINE 💀

502: swears in russian when i beat him

503: simps for mipha

504: uses galarian stunfisk in pokemon go

505: thinks milkshake by meganeko is a bad song

506: hates furries

507: doesnt sub to TangerineFish on youtube

508: doesnt follow https://scratch.mit.edu/users/BombCraft

509: does not want to be turned into a marketable plushie but gets turned into one anyway because yes.

510: murders a family of 4 while watching pointcrow on youtube.

511: doesnt watch kiff

512: watches caillou

513: watches anime

514: thinks nezuko isnt ugly

515: thinks the elo is a timer

516: thinks their age is their skill level

517: thinks 7 is lucky'

518: pointcrow is my favourite streamer to watch while committing first degree murder on a family of 4.

519. plays the botez gambit

520: is alexandra/andrea botez

521: plays e4 e5 Ba6 bxa6 Ke2

523: hates the game because they are american and america isnt a monarchy

524: Plays the "Sanity of 800 elos" gambit.

525. blunders the archbishop

527. Owns CP (cerebral palsy don’t worry)

“kinging” by promoting a pawn

529: is rated 100

530: 1.f4 2.g4

I am rated 100 i atarted playing chess a month ago

531. Calls knights “horsies”

532. Puts pieces on their fingertips and clacks them

534: thinks f4 means to hit alt f4

545. play chess against @vidipkona

547. opens 1. g3 or 1. b3