1000 things a dumb chess player would do

thinks castling are rooks

After checkmating, decides it's not enough and kills the opponent IRL

Moves his/her knight from a1 to c6, checkmating Black.

67. Does Blitz rounds and relies on timeout to win 

68. Cheat 

Castles while bei

Sorry said the wrong thing I ment castles while being in check

70. Drives own self into a corner then gets checkmated

71. Forgets to place white king in a setup position

72. plays e4 and qh5 all the time

73. Attacks with a king.

plays checkers not chess on the chess board 

75. Castles while the king and rook have moved many times

takes opponents queen with no other attackers

Plays 1.e4, f6 2.d4, e5 thinking he's playing the Caro-Kann. (actually happened).

That's not entirely true. It was the first World Champion, Wilhelm Steinitz' advice, "The King is a strong piece. Use him!" 

Some of his successful games played insane looking gambit lines that included his king being activated, moving to the center of the board before the endgame; defending center pawns and trying to hunt his opponent's queen rather than castling. 

now thats cool

77. Falls for the trap when they let you in the center

78. Plays the Barnes Opening.

66.  when there is hanging queen he plays Ke5 on move 20