1000 things a dumb chess player would do

sac the king to checkmate the queen

thinks he can take the opponents king as a normal piece

Gets angry at FIDE for racism, simply because White always goes first.

I did this once, actually.

Beat a 1600 in a losing position bc I flagged them with a bishop sac in a 10 min game.

blunder their pieces with no apparent reason

I love playing chess with my toes. Me and my friends play feet-only blitz games. The queen kind of hurts to pick up, but the pawns feel soo satisfying in between my little piggies

resigning once your opponent takes a pawn

annept draw in a winning position because the opponent is 50 points elo more than him so he gte 1 point for the draw (and he could win and get 9)

i did this error long time ago

trying to get to GM in the 1st day of playing chess

Blunder checkmate

Takes a piss on the board when he loses

The other oponent smashes you king so it breaks and you have no king left to play so you lose

after falling for this trap for the 50th time, screaming "HOW DO I EVEN STOP IT?!?!"

falls for this

Note that your king defends f7, so there isn't actually a threat there. Therefore, simply defend the threat on the pawn. If you see that your pawn keeps getting captured, simply defend it the next time you come into this situation. Try Nc6.

is stupid enough to fail like this