1000 ways of get injured playing chess

Time for the next "Pi Party" next Friday, (3/14/14) - LOL

davidacole wrote:

Time for the next "Pi Party" next Friday, (3/14/14) - LOL

Yeah! Time to get nerdy...

You put C-4 under the pawn that happens to be on c4.

Hmm... Comment deleted?

Ah! I got one!

You're in the chess.com-iverse and the servers die and you never finish the game with Garry Kasparov and you were about to win and you keep on saying "and" and you stutter and you catch your breathe and you inhale a fly that happened to be flying and you choke and you die!

#316: Sony FoxFilms contracts you and you play chess in slow motion being recorded. You are ultra happy because you feel like you are useful for the minkind first time in your life, which you spent studying the increasement of population of non-flying pigeons in your city and how it affects the economy of your country . Playing chess - your opponent is from Matrix and when you are about to do Bf3+ ...your opponent flies with style in slow motion doing a 360 backflip and kicks your face with both feet, in slow motion. This makes you blunder in the next move and lose in slow motion by a checkmate from the 5th dimension.

Matrix 1 - you 0

0pponent 3 - you 0

You win the chess championship, and pull a muscle while celebrating. at which point you pull another muscle trying to grab the muscle you just pulled.

You dash into the Dollar Store to buy an el-cheapo chess set for an impromptu game.  It's missing the White Queen.  So instead quickly returning the set for another one, you chop off your little finger to be the White Queen.

#319 - Your opponent replaces their Queen piece with an actual queen, who promptly calls for you to be taken away and placed in a dungeon for the remainder of your days.

320. During a game of chess, your opponent cheats and do the sickest move ever - 1.MVKe8#!!!!!! (Missile Vaporizes King on e8 checkmate (very very very very very good move)). Fortunately the explosion was only 2cm by 2cm, but unfortunately it contained some radio active which spread 50cm...enough to reach you. And the radio active was extremely strong, so opponent decides to change the notation on his score sheet to this:

1.RAMVKe8&KO## with infinite exclamation marks at the end (Radio Active Missile Vaporizes King on e8 and Kills Opponent Double Checkmate (Very x infinity good move))

Here is another one of my funny ones:  I was playing in a speed tournament many years ago, and before that game, there was a vendor there that was selling chocolate chess pieces.  I had bought a white chocolate queen from the vendor, and during one of my speed games, I got into a mad time scramble, and when I could not find a spare queen after a pawn promotion, since both of my rooks were still in the game, I pulled out the white chocolate queen, placed it on the promoting square, and delivered checkmate with the white chocolate queen before my time expired, and promptly took a bite out of the chocolate queen that won me the game, and my opponent promptly puked!  Boy victory sure tasted that good that day, and sometimes you have to be a little more resourceful then your opponent.  (LOL)

davidacole wrote:

Here is another one of my funny ones:  I was playing in a speed tournament many years ago, and before that game, there was a vendor there that was selling chocolate chess pieces.  I had bought a white chocolate queen from the vendor, and during one of my speed games, I got into a mad time scramble, and when I could not find a spare queen after a pawn promotion, since both of my rooks were still in the game, I pulled out the white chocolate queen, placed it on the promoting square, and delivered checkmate with the white chocolate queen before my time expired, and promptly took a bit out of the chocolate queen that won me the game, and my opponent promptly puked!  Boy victory sure tasted that good that day, and sometimes you have to be a little more resourceful then your opponent.  (LOL)

Lol! Next time I should eat fake chess pieces before/during the game so my opponent faints :)

Hi, I am Ken Gene's friend. Here is mine. You are playing a Russian GM but the sneaky and nerdy Russian group of scientists decided that this game was the perfect time to test out their new disguised mini nuclear intercontinental ballistic missile so they replaced the bishops with four of the weapons. You decided to play the bishop's opening and the game ended in a great round of flashy chemical fireworks(it seriously did).

Don't go off-topic, make a new thread instead. Delete those comments.

Sorry, just testing the chess editor

bored to death

death to bored

321. You play e4. The opponent plays d5. You play exd5. The opponent plays Qxd5. You go to the toilet. During this time, the opponent moves your king a little so it's between e1 and e2. When you come back, you put the king back in his position WITHOUT SAYING I ADJUST. Then the opponent tells you to move your king. You can only play Ke2 and then he plays Qe4#.