J'a-shut-it-oube!
2001-3000 Worst Things To Do While Playing Chess
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7677. Sure the square chessboard has 64 squares on it; only 47 of us dudes know that when you play chess on the turntable with the round chessboard there are 47 squares. You have a 47% chance of winning these games, but there's a 47% chance that the pieces will either fall off when it is spinning or a 47% chance that someone will say, "J'adoube!" There's also a 47% chance I may be insane, with a margin of error of +/- 4.7%.
6678. Becoming Fleastroyer, the god of destroying fleas, and taking your golden fleaswatter and spanking all of your opponent's flea-sized chess pieces with it to make sure they have been expunged, or at least disturbed, and having it go so well you decide you will become Fleastroyer, the great chess-playing, flea-swatting luchador.
"Fleas the day!"
"Don't you mean seize the day, carpe diem?"
"No, I don't. I mean carpe fleam (perdere pulices)!
5679. Piledriving a flea into your opponent's king while announcing checkmate.
4680. Playing a game of cat and mouse with fleas whilst playing chess in the bounce house with the round board on a phonograph player against Fleastroyer!
"Can we get any cockporn in here, Fleastroyer? I'm sick of eating all these chess pieces..."
"Hot buttered cockporn is just duh bomb..."
"Huh! Did someone just say bomb? I'm outta here... Time to flee!"
"Yeah, I just said fleabomb... Y'all stick around now, ya hear?!"
Who undahstaand da wads cat coming out of my mouse?
It was all just a HUGE MOUSEUNDERSTANDING! A real CATastrophe! Oh brothel! Orgy
gonna say anything about it or did the cat get your tongue?
3681. Confusing chess in the Bauhaus with chess in the bounce house.
choo-choo! time to move, little friends! a painful death is waiting for you!
2682. T-Rex posing for the paparazzi too much and blocking your view of the board during your tournament game.
What the chessboard said when asked if it wouldn't rather be made out of a harder material for spinning on a turntable than just vinyl?
Answer: "I really, really wood, but why do you anthropomorphize?"
HAM HAM HAM!! OH WHAT A SHAM! GIVE ME MY SPAM! ALL KNIGHT LONG, I FEEL SOMETHING IS RON-G.
1NaturalDisaster wrote:
23854858485949594958495849584859489480548594549459489589545895984498594945985:
Kick an ant in groin
2683. Kick a yourself 'n' groan
PAM IN SOCKS. KNOX ON BOX. SPAM WITH FOX. HAVE YOU ANY BLOCHS?
HAVE YOU ANY ERNEST BLOCHS?
WHEN YOU ARE STONED TO DEATH I HEAR THE BLOCHS REALLY ROCKS!
PAM IN UNDERWEAR. WEATHER IS FAIR. GROW SOME HAIR. HAVE YOU ANY BROCCOLI?
My socks grew roots once they got really stinky. What I would give for a can of chicken noodle pox soup right now, and a good game of chess with a fox in the henhouse.
1NaturalDisaster wrote:
Eat.. a fox in socks while rooting for the Red Sox then asking for some chicken pox
Gulp. Go Sox! May I please have some chicken pox?
tigerche wrote:
2684.Cook.
...yourself?!
Chessboy1516 wrote:
2004. Talking.
2685. Shortking.
J'adoube!