twighead wrote:
All dogs go to heaven ADGTH
Any ducks going to Helsinki?
I sink so, but Hel if I know...
2001-3000 Worst Things To Do While Playing Chess
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drDuki has been up to Smething, I hear?
Smething tells me that smething is wrong with smething here!
twighead wrote:
2777. (Being such a winner your name gets changed to 47. And everyone needs to recite it 47 times. I also need to post this 47 times. But due to my training in math I'll just do this.)^47
Let's give them Smething to talk about. How about WOOOOOOOOstershire LOOOVE47 OLOOLVOEESAUCEEE!? BEEYOUTEEFULL! And don't call me Bonnie Raitt, Shirley.
2778. The 411 on the 911 is Heinz 47 Worcestershire Sauce. Ya dump it on the chessboard and ya lick it off.
FOUR FOUR FOUR FOUR
TEE TEE TEE TEE
SEVEN SEVEN SEVEN SEVEN SEVEN SEVEN SEVEN
RECITE RECITE RECITE RECITE RECITE RECITE RECITE
ECHO ECHO ECHO ECHO ECHO ECHO ECHO
HYPNOTIZE HYPNOTIZE HYPNOTIZE HYPNOTIZE
YOU YOU YOU YOU
ARE ARE ARE ARE ARE ARE ARE
GETTING GETTING GETTING GETTING
SLEEPY SLEEPY SLEEPY SLEEPY SLEEPY SLEEPY SLEEPY
NOW NOW NOW NOW
"It's the most beautiful chessboard in the hole wereold!"
2779. Winning 47 chess games in a row through pure hypnosis.
2780. Playing the KeysAreRisky Spambit because you think it is a variation of the Kieseritzky Gambit, because you like to eat keys with your little bits of Spam, and because you just had your first birthday.
2781. Having a ball because you belong to the SCS, the Spherical Chessboard Society, whose members believe that all chessboards are never flat but all are perfectly spherical, just as our planet is spherical, not flat, or is it??
"Isn't it your turn to join the SCS?"
"Sure, I'll get a round to it soon..."
"Good - should be an excellent basketball game..."
"Yeah, I see your getting pumped up for it..."
"Yeah, let's hope the super-glue holds this time; we lost over 192 pieces in the last game after that slam-dunk..."
zhikaihuang wrote:
Smething tells me that smething is wrong with smething here!
Don't believe everything Smething tells you; he's as healthy as a hypochondriac with multiple-personality disorder. Besides, how do you make Smething out of nothing?
1NaturalDisaster wrote:
Eat a 40-year banana, with a side of microwaved milk, and blue cheese
What is yellow, black, red, white, and blue all over?
Oh wait, this isn't Jeopardy, this is suicide...
2782. Warning signs your opponent is more into astronomy than chess:
He says, "All right, let's have a look at Uranus now... Why the Sirius face?...
No, I will not Leo you alone! No need for a bad altitude! Yes, can we please get a photon together? So, what planet are you from?"
2783. Analyzing your games using a combination of turkey broth (which you refer to as Stockturkey) and Worcestershire sauce when your opponent is using Stockfish.
2784. Creating your own special chess engine out of turkey broth and Worcestershire sauce and claiming it to be the tastiest chess engine out there and that you will call it WorcestTurkey and that it will compete one day with Stockfish.
2785. Asking no answers. Telling no questions? And when you're spitting on the chessboard, always trying to weasel your way out of not knowing why you spray the Worcestershire sauce on your opponent instead of just wiping it up and hiding your errors in your opponent's hoodie hot pocket inside of a blintz that you keep in a jar by the door that is ajar beside the pigeons on the grass alas.
re: 1158. Throw all the pawns in the air when you start a pawn storm.
2786. Have your opponent storm off once they all hit him in the head.
1NaturalDisaster wrote:
Fart, then stink up the room so bad that the opponent loses conciousness.
2787. Feeling and fueling the urge inside yourself to compose a poem about your farts immediately after that, such as:
Is it my farts of onion and couscous
that have you fainting on the ground, feeling the abuse
of the supersonic piercing of the air
when in peace time all seemed once fair?
On and on the war will rage
when I season my methane with garlic, capers, and sage
oy, oy, the odious death
that finds you lying on the ground and out of breath
and which cometh from my broccoli and cheese
raisin' walnuts into the air like a Limburgerish disease
even my king runs away like a queenlike fool
ahh the Turkey I am, I split my pants open like some pea-shoots from Istanbul.
2788. Daze and daze of farts on the chessboard all knight long.
2708. Hack ChessPlayinDude47's account. BTW, if you dont see this on your own computer, it's cuz i changed it back.
Hey, it's not easy playing chess in the swimming pool, and the pieces either keep drowning or floating off into the Martian sky...