2136. Play piano.
2144. Sometimes I play the Piano too, but whenever I play 3...Bc5, it always feels like such a Giuoco when my opponent goes all Greco on me with 4. c3. It feels like the Giuoco's on me... Maybe I play-a 3...Nd4 and throw a viola solo in for good measure. My opponent will never know what hit him! Hmm, I go study some Italiano at the Junior College. See you guys a-later...
2136. Play piano.
I did a little digging underneath the crust and uncovered earthwormsful of facts! Interesting facts about the piano and mathematics and chess... I've discovered that although the modern piano was invented in Italy by Bart Simpson-Cristofori around 1700 anno Domini, there existed a more antique-y pi-anno invented by the Ancient Greek (from the Greco-Roamin' em-PI-re) mathematician Archimeaties of Syracuse (287-212 BC), who, in collaboration with the Greek theoretical-mathematician, Pistaggerus (inventor of the Pistacchio, but who later went nuts, perhaps after having to cut-off his green moustache) who told him pi-annos should be green, is incidentally the first New-Yorker Neanderthal violist to calculate an accurate estimation of the value of pi. He thus calculated pi to be almost infinitely valuable (particularly when hungry, but not as valuable as a king, nor emperor, though) and placed the value as that of a strong knight or a weak bishop in the game of chess, while Marie Callender, his assistant, placed the value a little higher at about 30.99 for a slice of blueberry, almost worth the price of a checkmate alone! His pi-anno, which he named after pi (3.14159... uns so weiter...etc...ad nauseum...) and anno (meaning "year" in Latin and Italian and Greek and whatever they speak in Syracuse, NY) was a crude pie-shaped instrument, with a someone crusty and sometimes burnt exterior, not unlike French bread, nor the colour of Sienna after the town burned to ash, but imbuing a meaty-sound underneath the hood. Hence, amp-a-theatres are now Archi-techted roundly, as are many pi-zzas, and hence, nowadays modern pianos have black keys, to imitate a burnt pie colour. While drinking Orange Crush, all they got in Syracuse, and consulting his hamster, Tod, Archie (aka Archimeaties) was able to systematically invent chess on a visit he had with some Chinese scholars, circa 281 BC, when Arch was only six years old. He stole the secret ingredient for chess (i.e. pi) from the Chinese scholars (witnesses claim it was a calculator) and was banned from ever climbing over the Great Pawn Wall ever again (which, laughably, back then, was only 3.14 inches in height - not circumference...) or climbing inside the Leaning Rook of Pi-sa, but once he got out of there safely, he determined that both pi-anni and chess pieces should come in twelves, have circular shapes, and have both black and white components to please the masses, particularly the Requiems. He is credited as the inventor of dodecacophony, a twelve key faux-telephone that emits a high-pitched cluster-chord of dissonance whenever it rings, and with New York's first round rook (after consultation with Saint Francisco Lloyd "White-on-the-" Wright, who was, at the time, busy instigating castles, which he called his missions in life, over in Cali). His first concert tour circa 212 BC was a grand success (...if only a baby grand...), and he wooed in amp-a-theatres far-and-wide, playing chess, pi-anno, and holding pi-baking competitions for Greek artists to attend and pi-ticipate in. Unfortunately his hamster, Tod, passed-away that year when assassinated in a most undignifiedly manner, a drive-by viola solo which came through the window by an unidentified Chinese secret agent man and GM, but Archie's invention was discovered and propagandized by Italian mathemeticians many years later around the time of Ruy Frescobaldy. Today pi-anno is about as common as arpa-eggione, concert viola soloists, The Black Plague, or stringed-meats (aka archimeaties), i.e. not very common, but the legend lives on, and we are lucky to get to play chess on square-shaped boards while we indulge in our pis and listen to Lexie Scriabin, aka Sexy-Lexie with our pet hamsters.
If you can read this, you need a smaller monitor, dude...
"Heya, Arch... Aaaachie, you seen that pi recipe anywheres?"
"Ayyyy! Stop naggin, woman; go back to your colanders and calendars and leave me be..."
2136. Play piano.
I did a little digging underneath the crust and uncovered earthwormsful of facts! Interesting facts about the piano and mathematics and chess... I've discovered that although the modern piano was invented in Italy by Bart Simpson-Cristofori around 1700 anno Domini, there existed a more antique-y pi-anno invented by the Ancient Greek (from the Greco-Roamin' em-PI-re) mathematician Archimeaties of Syracuse (287-212 BC), who, in collaboration with the Greek theoretical-mathematician, Pistaggerus (inventor of the Pistacchio, but who later went nuts, perhaps after having to cut-off his green moustache) who told him pi-annos should be green, is incidentally the first New-Yorker Neanderthal violist to calculate an accurate estimation of the value of pi. He thus calculated pi to be almost infinitely valuable (particularly when hungry, but not as valuable as a king, nor emperor, though) and placed the value as that of a strong knight or a weak bishop in the game of chess, while Marie Callender, his assistant, placed the value a little higher at about 30.99 for a slice of blueberry, almost worth the price of a checkmate alone! His pi-anno, which he named after pi (3.14159... uns so weiter...etc...ad nauseum...) and anno (meaning "year" in Latin and Italian and Greek and whatever they speak in Syracuse, NY) was a crude pie-shaped instrument, with a someone crusty and sometimes burnt exterior, not unlike French bread, nor the colour of Sienna after the town burned to ash, but imbuing a meaty-sound underneath the hood. Hence, amp-a-theatres are now Archi-techted roundly, as are many pi-zzas, and hence, nowadays modern pianos have black keys, to imitate a burnt pie colour. While drinking Orange Crush, all they got in Syracuse, and consulting his hamster, Tod, Archie (aka Archimeaties) was able to systematically invent chess on a visit he had with some Chinese scholars, circa 281 BC, when Arch was only six years old. He stole the secret ingredient for chess (i.e. pi) from the Chinese scholars (witnesses claim it was a calculator) and was banned from ever climbing over the Great Pawn Wall ever again (which, laughably, back then, was only 3.14 inches in height - not circumference...) or climbing inside the Leaning Rook of Pi-sa, but once he got out of there safely, he determined that both pi-anni and chess pieces should come in twelves, have circular shapes, and have both black and white components to please the masses, particularly the Requiems. He is credited as the inventor of dodecacophony, a twelve key faux-telephone that emits a high-pitched cluster-chord of dissonance whenever it rings, and with New York's first round rook (after consultation with Saint Francisco Lloyd "White-on-the-" Wright, who was, at the time, busy instigating castles, which he called his missions in life, over in Cali). His first concert tour circa 212 BC was a grand success (...if only a baby grand...), and he wooed in amp-a-theatres far-and-wide, playing chess, pi-anno, and holding pi-baking competitions for Greek artists to attend and pi-ticipate in. Unfortunately his hamster, Tod, passed-away that year when assassinated in a most undignifiedly manner, a drive-by viola solo which came through the window by an unidentified Chinese secret agent man and GM, but Archie's invention was discovered and propagandized by Italian mathemeticians many years later around the time of Ruy Frescobaldy. Today pi-anno is about as common as arpa-eggione, concert viola soloists, The Black Plague, or stringed-meats (aka archimeaties), i.e. not very common, but the legend lives on, and we are lucky to get to play chess on square-shaped boards while we indulge in our pis and listen to Lexie Scriabin, aka Sexy-Lexie with our pet hamsters.
If you can read this, you need a smaller monitor, dude...
"Heya, Arch... Aaaachie, you seen that pi recipe anywheres?"
"Ayyyy! Stop naggin, woman; go back to your colanders and calendars and leave me be..."
Uhhh..... 2145.Post really long forum posts.
Me?!
2144-Making cake.
2145. Kicking the cake made in 2144.
2146. Kicking coal again.
2147. Sniffing another bum.
2148. Sniffing another rum.
2149. Stuffing kohlrabi inside your bishop and detonating it as an explosive.
2150. Kicking the cake made in 2117.
2151. Kicking, right now, two more cakes to be made in future years.
2166. Getting your kicks on Route 66 so you can number out of order.
666a. Getting your kicks on Route 666.
2151. telling your opponent your plan.
2152. burn the pieces.
2153. burn the replacement pieces.
2154. go to the North Pole and ask Santa whether you've been a good boy.
2155. stealing Santa's hat.
2156. P
O
S
T
I
N
G
R
E
A
L
L
Y
D
I
A
G
O
N
A
L
P
O
S
T
S
!
B
E
C
A
U
S
E
Y
O
U
W
E
R
E
P
R
O
M
O
T
E
D
T
O
A
B
I
S
H
O
P
J
U
S
T
T
O
W
A
S
T
E
F
O
R
U
M
S
P
A
C
E
!
2157. Playing Twister on top of your freshly waxed car while simultaneously playing a 1 minute bullet game with this guy:
Time keeps on slipping, slipping, slipping, into the future...
2158.jump of a cliff
2158.jump of a cliff
2159. Jump off of a T-Rex and get caught doing it!
2160. Bowling for cockroaches on the chess board during the game. Hey! I think I just created a new chess variant! 
2161. Roasting a struck cockroach inside your opponent's mouth because he won't stop singing The Christmas Song on the Fourth of July - your opponent won't stop singing that is, not the cockroach... 
2162. French-kissing your opponent when he regurgitates the overly-well done cockroach that has been roasting in his mouth because you are hungry for victory. 
2163. Lying about it on the forum and pretending that you didn't really do that but then confessing everything to grandma when she pries it out of you. You know the "it" I'm referring to... 
2164. Getting arrested by Santa Claus for cheating on Chess.com. by lying and sleeping and roasting and French-kissing: ooh-la-la! 
2165. Finding out that you have been banished to a jail cell with no coffee maker in it. 
2166. Having to listen to the prison officer sing The Christmas Song in Yupik tuntussuqatarniksaitengqiggtuq-style and Gangnam-style both because he is Superman, then finding out that the cockroch you roasted was a flying stinging cockroach and isn't dead yet and he has come to attack you! 
Oops, we already had 2166. Now who would do a thing like that?
Hmmm? Alrighty who's the poopetrator here? 
LMAO, ROFL, ROFWC (rolling around on the floor with a concussion...)
2136. Play piano.
Would that be poco piano; più piano; or
più, più, più, più!!-it-smells-like-Limburger-
Cheese-in-here-piano?
Pleeze-ah, Giuseppe wants-a to know...