ChessPlayinDude47 wrote:
3130. Slicing hundreds of onions in front of your opponent's face while it is his turn when he decries his position and bursts into tears.
stfu.
2826-4000 Worst Things To Do While Playing Chess
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Francesca Da Rimini only knows; probably just another blintz-suckin' ruffian, just another squirrel in the monkey-filled tree searching for his or her munchbags... go look in mommy's lunchbag.
nag1610 wrote:
Another precision.
1. Ng4 fxg4 2. Qg5+ Kg7 3. Qe7+ Kg8 4. Qxd8+ Kg7 5. Re7+ Kh6 5. Qf8 + Kh6 6 Rxh7#
All worked out without the board!!!
Are those your moves in tiddlywinks or twister?
egoole wrote:
Nobody's counting any longer...
"Egoole? Do you know I am called The Count?
Because sahmtimes I really lahv to count.
sahmtimes I seeht and count all day, but ahh...
sahmtimes I get carried avay...
I count slowly, slowly, slowly getting faster
once I start in counting it's very hard to stop. HEY!!!
Faster, faster, it ees so exciting, I could count foraaaver!
...count until I drop! Kerplop!!
1, 2, 3, 4; 1,2,3,4; 1,2,3,4;1, 2 Iove counting
whatever the amount, ha-ha!
1, 2, 3, 4; heh-yeh-yeh-yeh, heh-yeh-yeh-yeh 1, 2, 3, 4, 1, 2, that's the song of Zee Count!
Please don't forget it, little buddy.
The Count of Monte Counto - Dumas
I wasn't really counting on it, though.
Jun 24, 2016
0
#568
Record yourself laughing and play it back.... It will make you laugh.. Record again and....... the process continues...
egoole wrote:
Record yourself laughing and play it back.... It will make you laugh.. Record again and....... the process continues...
3131. Hmmm, that reminds me of something you can do for your opponent
while he is waiting for you to move in the chess game:
Take an blank index card and write on one side:
How to keep a moron entertained for hours... (over)
Then, turn over the index card and write:
How to keep a moron entertained for hours... (over)
Give it to your opponent to read so he has something
to do while he is waiting for your next chess move!
twighead wrote:
58,250,333. Flourish your chopping sticks, cause when the chopping sticks you'll have to get unstuck but your stuck to a buck, rolling away on a unicycle down to the place where you can recycle old glass cars filled with age old underwear so it's rather rudimentary that you would end up under there.
#Pankoexpress
#ExpressYourNoodle
#NoodleFasting
#Quazi-Symbone
This man is high with his numbers; exponentially high.
princesslove52086 wrote:
be sleepy 😴😴😴😴
Hush little birdie, don't say a word
Momma's gonna buy you a blintz filled with a turd
and if that dump-filled blintz doesn't sing
momma's gonna buy you a pawn for your king
and if that king grows up to be a king
momma's gonna buy you a bassoon to play The Ring (Cycle) (4 operas of Wagner)
and if that Wagner Tuba don't sound
momma's gonna play it so loudly you jump off the ground
and if you jump off the ground and never return
momma's gonna look for a trampoline so she can yearn
and if momma feels like she's lost her only son in outer space
at least momma can adopt a hairy gorilla and teach it grammar in the accusative case
and if that hairy gorilla don't learn how to spiel
momma's gonna ask for some help from Shaquille O'Neal
and if momma drops the ball too many times to count
momma's going to open an individual retirement account
and if that individual retirement account don't help momma with her chess
momma's sure going to be under a lot of stress
T-Rex will then need to keep a low profile
and take to sleeping in the phone book every once in a while
So if you want to know the moral of this story
ask me when you wake up, so I won't be a borey.
You'll still be the sweetest little birdie in town.
Now hush little birdie and with your cere don't you frown.
Oh dear, what can the matter be?
The matter can be that we already had this lullaby in post 449...
twighead wrote:
egoole wrote:
Pack up some toad and lick them... Feel what your father's felt before the invention of the wheel....
That's the deepest thing I've read all day
It is. Yet, there's a slight punctuation error. Egoole, you stated, "...what your father's felt..." The word "fathers" needs no apostrophe in this contextual usage; in fact, I was wondering if members of this thread had had some fathers that possessed a piece of felt or perhaps several pieces of felt which these fathers then felt. This also led me to wonder if felt had been around before the invention of the wheel. Did you have a father who felt felt, egoole? I may have, myself, but I will need to check into that. Perhaps I will telephone my dad for Father's Day and ask him if he once had some felt. It's a rather heart-felt grammatical error and my heart goes out to you. Still, I must agree with twighead, it's easily the deepest thing I've read all day, and I've been up for several hours, too.
a cut-up piece of pink felt (see picture above) Feel what your father felt, guys. Go ahead, touch it; see, it feels fuzzy, like a pink hairy gorilla or a hairy pink panther? Yes.
Jun 25, 2016
0
#573
ChessPlayinDude47 wrote:
twighead wrote:
egoole wrote:
Pack up some toad and lick them... Feel what your father's felt before the invention of the wheel....
That's the deepest thing I've read all day
It is. Yet, there's a slight punctuation error. Egoole, you stated, "...what your father's felt..." The word "fathers" needs no apostrophe in this contextual usage; in fact, I was wondering if members of this thread had had some fathers that possessed a piece of felt or perhaps several pieces of felt which these fathers then felt. This also led me to wonder if felt had been around before the invention of the wheel. Did you have a father who felt felt, egoole? I may have, myself, but I will need to check into that. Perhaps I will telephone my dad for Father's Day and ask him if he once had some felt. It's a rather heart-felt grammatical error and my heart goes out to you. Still, I must agree with twighead, it's easily the deepest thing I've read all day, and I've been up for several hours, too.
a cut-up piece of pink felt (see picture above) Feel what your father felt, guys. Go ahead, touch it; see, it feels fuzzy, like a pink hairy gorilla or a hairy pink panther? Yes.
Thx... 😊 l like the way you correct people... they can't just say "meh, whatever!" cos they be laughing the whole time.... I guess I would just stick with my language next time.... Was my post offensive? I Don't get what you people mean by deep...?
Yeah, totally, Dude; egoole, you're in good shape, man; like go grab a cold, icy can of Worcestershire sauce and enjoy the day or something. Now, me? I'm off to go lick a toad and I'll catch you guys latah.
I'd say we have one of the
D
E
E
P
E
S
T
threads on chess.com.
But sometimes I guess it just deepends.
T-Rex just called a GM cartographer; we're going to get to the bottom of this one real soon. His fee is a hefty five bananas, though. Me? I'm gonna go have some potato pesto pasta and think about it - Genoa - awhile.
and after you complete step 8, go chow down, fellas!
3132. Losing, as I did yesterday, to the three-move checkmate. Nice job, luncorl-x! Never try to reverse a Grob, but if you do reverse a Grob, don't try to get Latvian with your reversed Grob:
Okay, go ahead and laugh peephole; have your fun in the sun...
3133. Not to point fingers, but T-Rex fell for a two-move mate from me yesterday, as well. Kids, this is called the "I-ate-all-the-dino-biscuits-so-hah-!!-mate", and is the universe's fastest two-move checkmate:
(Hey, don't scoff - at least I burned another number off the list...)
twighead wrote:
*Echoes*
Father
Yes son?
I am here, at the beginning of time, at the end of time
Yes son.
Why are we here?
To feel.
To feel what?
What is meant to be felt.
Yet how can we feel when the void is so near, and so far?
We do as we must, as creatures of this earth son, we put on our stoic faces yet feel so much.
Father?
Yes son
You're amazing.
Thank you son.
Let's celebrate by feeling so much this day. Lets celebrate by feeling all the felt.
I'm already there son.
I'm already there.
Fuzzy-wuzzy wuz a dad
Fuzzy-wuzzy had a fad
Fuzzy-daddy touched the felt
like a fuzzy-baddie with a tuna melt
Fuzzy was he, or was he daddy?
Baddie was he, or was he Maddie?
I asked Maddie and she said to ask Addie,
but when I asked Addison,
she said dahling, Dolly only knows, and she was talking about Madison.
So if you stay with Madison ("Maddie") at the Radisson
you can be the Pips with the Gladys, son,
that T-Rex will foot the bill
if you the refried beans who doth be the dude that tend to spill
Spelt beans?
Good dreams.
Teff poem.
I know em.
Dwight Yoakum
just some hokum
Katy Perry
she's so merry
Fuzzy-wuzzy?
or was he Daddy?
3134. Too much aeoliphone playing while it's your opponent's turn.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vIwaztNcQuE
HEY THERE, MAESTRA! NO EXTRANEOUS WHOOOOOOOOOOOOSHING SOUNDS DURIG THE GAME!
3130. Slicing hundreds of onions in front of your opponent's face while it is his turn when he decries his position and bursts into tears.