sending 1000 amps of electricity through car jump leads hooked up to your nipples.
2826-4000 Worst Things To Do While Playing Chess
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britishquaker wrote:
I always play scrabble with my son. He always beats me though.
...and I always play scramble with my bacon, as I hate eggs, but it's fun to eat burnt scrambled bacon with a good game of chess and a few dino-biscuits and some amber ale on the side.
theonlycatintheworld wrote:
sending 1000 amps of electricity through car jump leads hooked up to your nipples.
sounds good for opponents who move too slowly...
2894. Combining a chimichanga with a chupacabra and a chalupa to create a perfect Mexican food meal, which you call the chimichalupacabra, and then spilling it on your opponent's hand everytime he makes a move you don't care for.
sailing in a rubber dinghy out at sea in shark infested waters with your bleeding foot in the water.
2895. Too much noise, Buster. Mmm tryin' to take a nap.
2896. Realizing we're almost to 4000! Sooo close! Can you feel my heart racing, peephole?
2897. Eating several turds of many varieties, the denser the better, or butter.
2898. Shocking the unshockable.
2899. Smoking a viola at the chessboard.
2900. Playing a viola at the chessboard.
2901. Eating a viola at the chessboard.
2902. Your opponent dispensing laughing gas after every mistake you make, so that each time it seems just as funny to you as it does to him.
2903. Excusing yourself to go to the bathroom during your turn, but because you think your opponent will be worried that you are leaving for good you decide you'll leave your stinky shoes, your stinky socks, your stinky underwear, and all other articles of clothing you deem appropriate, so that he will have something to pass the time.
2904. Picking up some chess pieces down on the floor and finding a bunch of sad emoticons down there too. Then you realize you're not only not awake, but you are not you, you are she.
2905. A, B, C, D, E, F, J, next time won't you come play chess with May?
2906. Y, X, W, V, U, T, S, why are you counting letters with me backwards instead of playing chess?
Y X Y? Don't X me this question again.
2907. What pots of the brain ahh you using when you ahh British and you ahh playing with pawns (pans) - er, chess, 'ey chap?
2893. Betting a grandmaster a grand that you can beat him; and when he loses, telling him after he gives you the grand, he will just be a master because the grand is his no more...