5000 Signs You Don't Know Enough About Chess

my last 5000 games

407. On your board the h1 square is black.

408. You offer a draw when you have a rook and your opponent has nothing because you think it is impossible to win.

409. Your favorite tactic is to build pawn structures.

410. When your opponent knocks over his king you accuse him of cheating.

411. You dont know what en passsant is.

412. When you get en passant-ed in live you accuse your opponent of hacking.

413. You call the TD over to say that the previous move was illegal when it was actually en passant.

414. You don't know enough about chess to play 5000 games.

I play 5000 games every 3-4 years

I think my last game has 5000 signs that I don't know enough about chess!

#4??  You don't care if you drop a piece because you can promote a pawn.

#4... You're afraid to promote a pawn because you might lose a piece.

#4xx You're afraid to promote a pawn because it might get ambitious and try to take over.

#x:  You think that the pieces that survive can be used in the next game.

#x:  You keep track of experience points for your pieces and think that when a pawn capture 3 other pawns, it becomes a knight...  All pieces have xp equal to their material value, and capturing a piece grants that xp

1xp:  Pawn

3xp:  Knight/Bishop

5xp:  Rook

9xp: Queen

Queens can't promote.

This is what the point value of pieces really represent!

#420 You try to promote your queen to get it to prestige.

422. 5,000 isn't nearly enough.

423.  You think the knight can jump to any square on the board.

424.  You think that your bishop can protect itself from capture by praying to God.

425. You insist on extending this to 10,000 because that's how many signs you can come up with
426. You think you're mated when you're really only in check
427. You do K for knight and Kg for King (I used to do this)
428. You spell bishop biship because that's how it sounds
429. Your username is "Chessbeingfunisallicareabout"
430. Your username is "Idontknowanythingaboutchess"
431. When playing Bughouse, you celebrate after taking your opponent's queen at the cost of your king (true story!)
432. You sacrifice a queen for a rook (true story!)
433. You take a pawn and then realize your rook is going to be captured
434. You pin a piece by putting a needle onto the square the pieces was on
435. You do #432
436. You look at your chess pieces and say, "These sure are strange-looking checkers."
437. You will get a rook next move--at the cost of a queen and bishop
438. You tell your opponent, "I'll mate you if you go to a8! You have to go to a7."
439. You hear about castling but can't find any castles on the board
440. You make this post--but all of the signs are about you
441. You promote to a bishop, thinking you will get two more pawns because it looks like a tall pawn

443. you have never seen 1.d4

444.(lol I got this no.) you try a king sac.

445. You have never seen i.e4

This was already said.

Isn't that called the King's Gambit?

jk

446.Chess is exactly like checkers.