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The Zukertort starts with a horse,
Jumping to f3, of course.
But don't be too shocked,
To learn that one pawn gets blocked:
That f-pawn feels mild remorse.
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If an American lost fast as Black,
To a Japanese who cut him no slack,
Would the Asian make haste,
To name, in bad taste,
The opening "The Pearl Harbor Attack"?
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I love the name Yevteshenko,
And of course the name Kasyanenko,
But Soviet nouns,
Have Hungarian sounds,
So make my opening Benko.
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My father he ruled by the lash,
His temperament definitely brash,
"Take a good gander, son,
At that move called the Anderssen,
And promise you won't play that trash."
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The drug dealer offered me huijs,
The brothel took payment in cuijs,
But I knew this was Holland,
When the chessplayer Rolland,
Opened with the Van't Kruijs.
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The patzer was just a bit dense,
Of tempi he lacked all good sense,
So when fearing a pin,
He would give up a win,
By playing the stupid Clemenz.
Very good
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A man upon hearing a dare,
Opened his game with The Ware,
He paid a big cost,
For his a3 rook was lost,
To a bishop that was eyeing that square.
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To bring your rook fast to the fray,
Is considered extremely bad play.
But if your rook wants to be,
Fast lost at h3,
The opening you want is Desprez.
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Two Nazis played chess on a bench,
At the bottom of a battlefield trench.
The bullets kept zinging,
And their ears kept on ringing,
As they worked out the moves of the French.