create the most stupid chess pieces!

the giant pawn. It covers four squares instead of one, and moves two spaces at a time. It captures by stomping on pieces underneath it. When it promotes, the piece it promotes to is so astronomically huge that the game automatically ends in a draw because the board broke.
Also I like #175

the giant pawn. It covers four squares instead of one, and moves two spaces at a time. It captures by stomping on pieces underneath it. When it promotes, the piece it promotes to is so astronomically huge that the game automatically ends in a draw because the board broke.
Also I like #175
caseoh pawn

The Dumb Pawn-Captures itself when capturing a piece
okay that's genuinely funny
legit every cartoon character ever

The fat drunkie drake takes up 3 spaces up left down right and diagonally, the drunk part is where the more pieces he captures the more his drunk bar fills up, and then he dies you can place the pieces he captured, but the drake part is a 50/50 chance to capture or terrify if a piece is terrified then it may no longer move the more drunk he is the higher the chance to capture

Doppelganger
Each player starts with two of their 8 pawns having a Doppelganger emblem on the bottom of the piece. During set up these pieces can be placed anywhere a pawn normally would be. They function exactly like a pawn until they take another piece at which point they become a copy of that piece but retain the Doppelganger ability. Aka, they will continue to change into whatever piece they take.
The ghostrunner. It is a robot-ninja that moves like a king, but also has 2 dashes that make him go 3 squares in any direction(including as a knight, but can't jump)he can use both sashes each turn, alternatively or before or after the king move, but if at the end of your turn it is in an opponent's piece range it get captured(or shot)

Uchiha Sasuke. Looks like a regular pawn, but it is constantly motivated by revenge for its brother Itachi. If it finds out it's a pawn in a game, it will unleash the power of Orochimaru's curse mark and swear revenge on Konoha. In the curse mark state, it passively kills all pieces in a one square radius. Once it promotes, it kills an opponent's pawn (Itachi) and awakens the Mangekyo sharingan, the Amaterasu, and the Susano'o. It will then proceed to use the Amaterasu to burn the entire board into ashes.

Uchiha Sasuke. Looks like a regular pawn, but it is constantly motivated by revenge for its brother Itachi. If it finds out it's a pawn in a game, it will unleash the power of Orochimaru's curse mark and swear revenge on Konoha. In the curse mark state, it passively kills all pieces in a one square radius. Once it promotes, it kills an opponent's pawn (Itachi) and awakens the Mangekyo sharingan, the Amaterasu, and the Susano'o. It will then proceed to use the Amaterasu to burn the entire board into ashes.
omg i love naruto references
The hot.
It's a piece whose temperature is so high that you can't touch it. You have it on the board, and it remains there untouched, forever.
but if you were to move it, how would it move?
also you can just use a stick
Ha! Correct. This is nice.