DO NOT LET YOUR CHILDREN PLAY THIS GAME

Sort:
EamonB1

Guys, dont get angry about this. After all, this joke is filed under "Fun With Chess."

Grimm_Stone
teleny wrote:
A WARNING TO ALL PARENTS! DO NOT ALLOW YOUR CHILD TO PLAY THIS GAME!!

 

This game started in the Muslim sphere of influence, near Pakistan, and has spread to all parts of Europe. NAZI Germans played it during WWII and during the Cold War, Russia included it in the elementary school curriculum. Even here in the United States, it is highly approved of in West Point, and among top Pentagon officials, many of whom play it recreationally. Its role in espionage and cryptography is well-known.

Yet, it is also associated, more than any other game, with psychotic and violent behavior among its players. Many players become obsessed, and play online for hours at a time, racking up game after game after game. Not a few of its acknowledged masters, or shall we call them "grand" masters, have been institutionalized (though one reached political prominence not so long ago). It is played extensively in prisons, sometimes even openly. Often, adult players report having been taught to do so as children by older relatives.

It's widely known that games such as QuakeGrand Theft Auto and Call of Duty are promoted by the Department of Defense to inure soldiers to the act of killing, much as how farmers are known to become immune to the death throes of animals, and often show sociopathic, even homicidal, tendencies as a result. Brain studies have shown that playing violent games light up the same parts of the brain as crack cocaine, gambling, and pornography. This game raises or shall we say, lowers the bar by allowing and even encouraging players to lead to slaughter (or in the parlance of the game "sacrifice") their own men -- players are lauded for their coolheadedness in doing so.

 

THIS IS NOT CHILD'S PLAY!

 

 

If this game is found under the Christmas tree, take it away, and explain that this is a very boring game that they won't like anyway. Substitute a more positive gift, perhaps one that deals with sports (if a boy) or a Princess theme (if a girl). If this game is being given by a relative, it's imperative that you at least speak to them about the inappropriate nature of the gift, though they might not understand exactly how serious the situation really is. If they persist in insisting that their actions were, in fact innocent, limit contact with that relative, and if they're elderly, try to look into counseling for them.

Yes, it's true that some people will try to defend this game, especially people who are or were excellent players. Ask them how many hours they spent wasting their life that way when they could have been volunteering or teaching, if they are indeed so intelligent to play this admittedly snobbish and elitist game. Don't be fooled into thinking this is some kind of brain trainer, or worse, mathematics. Analysis of the game has yielded nothing of the kind, being instead rote memorization of positions -- mastery is only achieved through large amounts of play.

Many websites feature this game, and game software is even given away for free. Adding game sites to the blocker on your family computer is a good step. See if your children's friends play, and if so, talk to their parents. Approach the local school board, and see if you can't get the game banned from school property. Keep an eye on your children at Barnes & Noble, since they're known to sell game related books. Talk to the store manager, and see if he's willing to keep these books behind the counter.

 

Remember, it's your child's future on the line....

 

 


 

Who am I trying to fool? It's Chess.

bruh this doesn't even make sense

who-is

It's hilarious. The reactions to it even more hilarious. happy.pnghappy.pnghappy.png

Boadabinrfhdhdhdhh

Lol I feel like this is a troll because theres no way someone is dumb enough to post this on a chess website

RamblinRick

What we all should be incensed about is the rampant censorship of differing ideas and opinions that's going on with the all the big techs.

sndeww
teleny wrote:
A WARNING TO ALL PARENTS! DO NOT ALLOW YOUR CHILD TO PLAY THIS GAME!!

 

This game started in the Muslim sphere of influence, near Pakistan, and has spread to all parts of Europe. NAZI Germans played it during WWII and during the Cold War, Russia included it in the elementary school curriculum. Even here in the United States, it is highly approved of in West Point, and among top Pentagon officials, many of whom play it recreationally. Its role in espionage and cryptography is well-known.

Yet, it is also associated, more than any other game, with psychotic and violent behavior among its players. Many players become obsessed, and play online for hours at a time, racking up game after game after game. Not a few of its acknowledged masters, or shall we call them "grand" masters, have been institutionalized (though one reached political prominence not so long ago). It is played extensively in prisons, sometimes even openly. Often, adult players report having been taught to do so as children by older relatives.

It's widely known that games such as QuakeGrand Theft Auto and Call of Duty are promoted by the Department of Defense to inure soldiers to the act of killing, much as how farmers are known to become immune to the death throes of animals, and often show sociopathic, even homicidal, tendencies as a result. Brain studies have shown that playing violent games light up the same parts of the brain as crack cocaine, gambling, and pornography. This game raises or shall we say, lowers the bar by allowing and even encouraging players to lead to slaughter (or in the parlance of the game "sacrifice") their own men -- players are lauded for their coolheadedness in doing so.

 

THIS IS NOT CHILD'S PLAY!

 

 

If this game is found under the Christmas tree, take it away, and explain that this is a very boring game that they won't like anyway. Substitute a more positive gift, perhaps one that deals with sports (if a boy) or a Princess theme (if a girl). If this game is being given by a relative, it's imperative that you at least speak to them about the inappropriate nature of the gift, though they might not understand exactly how serious the situation really is. If they persist in insisting that their actions were, in fact innocent, limit contact with that relative, and if they're elderly, try to look into counseling for them.

Yes, it's true that some people will try to defend this game, especially people who are or were excellent players. Ask them how many hours they spent wasting their life that way when they could have been volunteering or teaching, if they are indeed so intelligent to play this admittedly snobbish and elitist game. Don't be fooled into thinking this is some kind of brain trainer, or worse, mathematics. Analysis of the game has yielded nothing of the kind, being instead rote memorization of positions -- mastery is only achieved through large amounts of play.

Many websites feature this game, and game software is even given away for free. Adding game sites to the blocker on your family computer is a good step. See if your children's friends play, and if so, talk to their parents. Approach the local school board, and see if you can't get the game banned from school property. Keep an eye on your children at Barnes & Noble, since they're known to sell game related books. Talk to the store manager, and see if he's willing to keep these books behind the counter.

 

Remember, it's your child's future on the line....

 

 


 

Who am I trying to fool? It's Chess.

Dude. So much incorrect with this. Who says it’s popular ONLY in prisons? You expect them to play monopoly? 
Grand theft auto is promoted to help soldiers get over killing people? Widely known? I’d more believe in someone who says FORTNITE trains twelve year olds for school shootings.

Muslims inventing chess makes it bad? You know that it’s very similar to Christianity and Judaism? (Hence the three Abrahamic religions)

All in all, nice troll. I almost believed it.

teleny

I'm happy you're having so much fun!

TheBlunderPunisher

Hey, our number system is called the Arabic numerals! Boycott all numbers! Use the American number system!

NorthernGoshawk
awesome1184 wrote:
Stop being sexist

Yes boys can play princesses too

rpmcampton

Ban DiHydrogen Monoxide!

TheBlunderPunisher

A study of 50 Americans found that 86% of them agree that dihydrogen monoxide is harmful. Athletes use it to improve performance, but it’s also found at almost every crime scene, been found to accelerate rust in iron structures, contributes to the greenhouse gas effect, causes suffocation, and a major component of acid rain. Now substantial amounts of it have been found in breast milk, and we can imagine how much damage that will do to our babies. Sign this petition to say NO to dihydrogen monoxide! The fact that no government is doing anything about it is appalling!

teleny

I wrote this as a spoof of the kind of copied emails you often get around Halloween and Christmas telling concerned parents to look in on what their kids are doing, and panicking. (Awk! they're playing D&D! They play videogames! They're listening to strange music! They watch transvestite shows! They like Beavis and Butthead!) 

I thought you'd like it...

taykeith000
CoolKnight324 wrote:

Says the one with 1200 bullet.


Grimm_Stone
teleny wrote:

I wrote this as a spoof of the kind of copied emails you often get around Halloween and Christmas telling concerned parents to look in on what their kids are doing, and panicking. (Awk! they're playing D&D! They play videogames! They're listening to strange music! They watch transvestite shows! They like Beavis and Butthead!) 

I thought you'd like it...

for your concern we wouldn't yell "FIANCHETTO THE BISHOP IDIOT"

TwilightPrince2020
ritterfork wrote:
TheBlunderPunisher wrote:

A study of 50 Americans found that 86% of them agree that dihydrogen monoxide is harmful. Athletes use it to improve performance, but it’s also found at almost every crime scene, been found to accelerate rust in iron structures, contributes to the greenhouse gas effect, causes suffocation, and a major component of acid rain. Now substantial amounts of it have been found in breast milk, and we can imagine how much damage that will do to our babies. Sign this petition to say NO to dihydrogen monoxide! The fact that no government is doing anything about it is appalling!

 say no to dihydrogen monoxide aka h2o aka water

this is the best forum post i've ever seen

TheBlunderPunisher

Funny enough, an Australian MP read this and proposed a serious bill to limit its usage and production. She became a little bit of a laughingstock after that

Aussies, do better than this! Going to war with birds we can forgive, but this? Come on!

TwilightPrince2020

That is beautiful. 

KnockKnockItstheFBI

bruh this is chess not GTA or something

KnockKnockItstheFBI
teleny wrote:
A WARNING TO ALL PARENTS! DO NOT ALLOW YOUR CHILD TO PLAY THIS GAME!!

 

This game started in the Muslim sphere of influence, near Pakistan, and has spread to all parts of Europe. NAZI Germans played it during WWII and during the Cold War, Russia included it in the elementary school curriculum. Even here in the United States, it is highly approved of in West Point, and among top Pentagon officials, many of whom play it recreationally. Its role in espionage and cryptography is well-known.

Yet, it is also associated, more than any other game, with psychotic and violent behavior among its players. Many players become obsessed, and play online for hours at a time, racking up game after game after game. Not a few of its acknowledged masters, or shall we call them "grand" masters, have been institutionalized (though one reached political prominence not so long ago). It is played extensively in prisons, sometimes even openly. Often, adult players report having been taught to do so as children by older relatives.

It's widely known that games such as QuakeGrand Theft Auto and Call of Duty are promoted by the Department of Defense to inure soldiers to the act of killing, much as how farmers are known to become immune to the death throes of animals, and often show sociopathic, even homicidal, tendencies as a result. Brain studies have shown that playing violent games light up the same parts of the brain as crack cocaine, gambling, and pornography. This game raises or shall we say, lowers the bar by allowing and even encouraging players to lead to slaughter (or in the parlance of the game "sacrifice") their own men -- players are lauded for their coolheadedness in doing so.

 

THIS IS NOT CHILD'S PLAY!

 

 

If this game is found under the Christmas tree, take it away, and explain that this is a very boring game that they won't like anyway. Substitute a more positive gift, perhaps one that deals with sports (if a boy) or a Princess theme (if a girl). If this game is being given by a relative, it's imperative that you at least speak to them about the inappropriate nature of the gift, though they might not understand exactly how serious the situation really is. If they persist in insisting that their actions were, in fact innocent, limit contact with that relative, and if they're elderly, try to look into counseling for them.

Yes, it's true that some people will try to defend this game, especially people who are or were excellent players. Ask them how many hours they spent wasting their life that way when they could have been volunteering or teaching, if they are indeed so intelligent to play this admittedly snobbish and elitist game. Don't be fooled into thinking this is some kind of brain trainer, or worse, mathematics. Analysis of the game has yielded nothing of the kind, being instead rote memorization of positions -- mastery is only achieved through large amounts of play.

Many websites feature this game, and game software is even given away for free. Adding game sites to the blocker on your family computer is a good step. See if your children's friends play, and if so, talk to their parents. Approach the local school board, and see if you can't get the game banned from school property. Keep an eye on your children at Barnes & Noble, since they're known to sell game related books. Talk to the store manager, and see if he's willing to keep these books behind the counter.

 

Remember, it's your child's future on the line....

 

 


 

Who am I trying to fool? It's Chess.

this is chess, chess is not a violent game bruh

sasuke22342
teleny wrote:
A WARNING TO ALL PARENTS! DO NOT ALLOW YOUR CHILD TO PLAY THIS GAME!!

 

This game started in the Muslim sphere of influence, near Pakistan, and has spread to all parts of Europe. NAZI Germans played it during WWII and during the Cold War, Russia included it in the elementary school curriculum. Even here in the United States, it is highly approved of in West Point, and among top Pentagon officials, many of whom play it recreationally. Its role in espionage and cryptography is well-known.

Yet, it is also associated, more than any other game, with psychotic and violent behavior among its players. Many players become obsessed, and play online for hours at a time, racking up game after game after game. Not a few of its acknowledged masters, or shall we call them "grand" masters, have been institutionalized (though one reached political prominence not so long ago). It is played extensively in prisons, sometimes even openly. Often, adult players report having been taught to do so as children by older relatives.

It's widely known that games such as QuakeGrand Theft Auto and Call of Duty are promoted by the Department of Defense to inure soldiers to the act of killing, much as how farmers are known to become immune to the death throes of animals, and often show sociopathic, even homicidal, tendencies as a result. Brain studies have shown that playing violent games light up the same parts of the brain as crack cocaine, gambling, and pornography. This game raises or shall we say, lowers the bar by allowing and even encouraging players to lead to slaughter (or in the parlance of the game "sacrifice") their own men -- players are lauded for their coolheadedness in doing so.

 

THIS IS NOT CHILD'S PLAY!

 

 

If this game is found under the Christmas tree, take it away, and explain that this is a very boring game that they won't like anyway. Substitute a more positive gift, perhaps one that deals with sports (if a boy) or a Princess theme (if a girl). If this game is being given by a relative, it's imperative that you at least speak to them about the inappropriate nature of the gift, though they might not understand exactly how serious the situation really is. If they persist in insisting that their actions were, in fact innocent, limit contact with that relative, and if they're elderly, try to look into counseling for them.

Yes, it's true that some people will try to defend this game, especially people who are or were excellent players. Ask them how many hours they spent wasting their life that way when they could have been volunteering or teaching, if they are indeed so intelligent to play this admittedly snobbish and elitist game. Don't be fooled into thinking this is some kind of brain trainer, or worse, mathematics. Analysis of the game has yielded nothing of the kind, being instead rote memorization of positions -- mastery is only achieved through large amounts of play.

Many websites feature this game, and game software is even given away for free. Adding game sites to the blocker on your family computer is a good step. See if your children's friends play, and if so, talk to their parents. Approach the local school board, and see if you can't get the game banned from school property. Keep an eye on your children at Barnes & Noble, since they're known to sell game related books. Talk to the store manager, and see if he's willing to keep these books behind the counter.

 

Remember, it's your child's future on the line   

bro  its just a game