You just need to go to school in Russia for a while. Then you'll know all those things "every Russian schoolboy knows..."
(Edit: I read a funny story by a Dutch pro runner who was in Kenya for training; when waiting in a long line to get some money from an ATM, he had the feeling he probably had the slowest personal best on the half marathon of all the people in the line. I was constantly reminded of that when I played as a tourist in the bottom group of the Aeroflot Open some years back. Even the arbiters glared at me to make me know I didn't belong in their nice tournament after I managed to lose a completely drawn rook ending...)
It may be that drinking lots and lots of Vodka would help if Russian blood transfusions would be prohibitive.