Funny stuff chessplayers say

Let's make a thread with funny and idiotic stuff some chessplayers say and/or do:

I'll start.

"You're an idiot for taking so long to defeat me"

GG

(with my pawn inevitably about to be promoted):

"Don't promote your pawn! Let's play fair!"

After losing two games horribly, with one blunder after the other:

"It's too early here. If it was night it would be different. I would totally slaughter you. What time is it in Brazil? (I live in Japan...)"

To a stubborn guy who would be mated inevitably in one move and kept "thinking", only to confirm I announce "mate in 1..." and then like he was saying the wisest sentence to avenge himself :" NO! YOU ARE WRONG, I RESIGN !"

Oh my gosh, that's exactly what I was trying to say, that there was no point in thinking and that it was time to resign...

And the arrogant silly ones who think they already won and say :" It's over dude, let's not pretend, bla bla bla..." and get mated a few moves later or at least you can recover and draw.

Aaron Nimzovitch once was losing a game to another master and just yelled from the table, "I can't believe I'm losing to this idiot!"

I guess the idiot didn't read "My System"

"You might as well resign, I am three pieces up" I mated him three moves later

I just played two players in a row, one gave me abuse because he blundered, the other one insisted on a draw because he was goin to lose, when I refused he gave me abuse and said he would just let the clock run.

I lose a lot at 5 minute chess but that is because my opponents made less mistakes than me and therefore was better on the night.

Cant figure out what fun these abusive players get from playing, they are blocked now but it does take the edge of the nights chess, fortunately these people are in the minority.

Interesting thread!

I once played a guy who thought I was cheating on Live chess because I have ticked the Premove box in the Move settings; he spent more time telling me to stop cheating than he actually employed thinking about his next move and he would not listen to reason. Though he lost I didn't feel any wiser or even happy, just annoyed.

It's a good thing we can block such... immature attitudes!