Here's why I don't play bullet chess

So I'm killing time with an idle game or two against Chess Titans and we drift into a Dutch Defence, PALATR Variation...

FOOLS mate, not scholars 

EDIT: You didn't actually call it Scholars, nevermind 

The above game is an excellent example of why it's important to learn the openings. 2.Bg5 is a perfectly reliable weapon that has been recommended recently by Lars Schandorff. White didn't play a single bad move.

This isn't a bullet chess phenomenon, it's a chess phenomenon.

what does this have to do with bullet?

4.e3 is a main line that has been used numerous times. Even Gary Kasparov has played it against another GM!

This was a tournament game played in 2008:

Im pretty sure its the scholarss mate. Fools mate is in only 2 moves

Na, Scholar's mate is a queen mating on f7 supported by a bishop.

This isn't a 'pure' fool's mate either though.

I actually caught someone with the Fool's Mate at my chess club. He was just a kid so I refrained from laughing in his face!

To answer a couple of questions:

I mention Scholar's Mate because I used to fall for it periodically as a beginner. Fool's Mate, never. So the above horror would be my shortest defeat ever if it weren't for those four-movers when I was a kid.

I mention bullet chess because I only play speed chess against Chess Titans (and then only on medium level to kill a few odd moments).

And it's nice to see I'm in good company. 

@OP: A few years ago, after I had been studying chess quite diligently and improving significantly by practicing on my chess program, I played against my program on a very weak setting. I don't remember why I had chosen that setting--I might have chosen it randomly, to drill myself. Anyway, if I remember correctly, I was checkmated in five moves by this weakened computer. I think the trap was a version of Légal's mate.

I felt utterly humiliated after the loss and vowed in my bitterness to quit chess. I honestly believed at the time that I was playing the very best moves, and not taking dubious risks, etc., and I was very familiar with the Légal trap. I obviously didn't quit, which is good.

Please don't be disheartened after such a loss. Fortunately, you don't seem to be; you seem to be laughing it off quite well. You can shake off this defeat and learn well from it.

Btw, the tactical theme is a Fools mate theme, not a scholar's mate. The game lasted 5 moves rather than two, but the reason Black lost was that he didn't make a single developing move and opened up his king to an irresistable attack.

I already explained about Scholar's Mate and Fool's Mate. I was able to explain the difference clearly roughly forty years ago.

The attack was perfectly resistible up to my last move. 4. ... Nf6 and I'm living to fight another day. It was taking the Bishop that scuppered me.

I'm not the least disheartened - if I weren't trying to move on reflex I'd have never fallen for it. As it was, I had a second or so in which to go "Oh, crap!" before the computer lowered the boom on me. 

but who told you to play bullet that you are telling this everyone?

Well, nobody. I was just chuckling at the stupid mistakes I can make when I'm playing to a short time limit. (Not that Chess Titans enforces one, but I generally aim to finish a game in five to ten minutes and move after just a few seconds as a rule.)

5-10 minutes for a game isn't bullet chess, it's blitz chess. And literally, every active grandmaster plays blitz.

And my inability to play well to a five-minute limit explains why I cannot and do not play at all to a one-minute limit.

I also play the piano, and it's a complete waste of time arguing with me over what literally every international-standard concert pianist can do.

Any more?

You mistake me - I wasn't after sympathy, I posted the dreadful gamelet at the top of this thread in order to allow my fellow players to amuse themselves at my expense. (Some there are who post dreadful games that they managed to win in order to boast of their prowess. That's not my way.)

I doubt I will ever much improve my reflexes at short-time-control chess, nor will it much bother me if I don't. I'm 53 and also mostly retired from OTB, but I've bossed up one school chess club and I hope to manage another before I'm done.

Best wishes, GG

Thank you, that was interesting.