How To Cheat At Chess

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Avatar of helltank

The Adjuster-His pieces are all straddling the centre of four squares, and at any time he can "j'adoube" any one to any of the squares. 

Inspector Gadget-He has Houdini 4.0 in an invisible one-way microchip hidden behind those spectacles.

The Hypnotist-His eyes promise only death. And checkmate. 

Mr.Largesleeve-There are seventy six queens hidden up his sleeve.

Distractor Man-"Hey, look, a three headed monkey!" and when you look back at the board suddenly he has a forced mate in 3. 

Who Do You Call?-He calls the Arbiter over for every small thing. 

Avatar of RetiFan

Helltank - wins on time while the opponent tries to sum all these up in his head