Jokes with chess! - Chess Forums - Page 2

Igorviking · 2018-01-14T01:47:35-08:00

Hi all! I was listening to GM Yasser Seirawan and IM Hans Bohm who were talking about the games on the radio. I didn't listen all of it but I did catch a funny joke... okay let's start! Oh and this is not meant offensive to wards anyone but I just thought it would be nice to share! If it&#

Eyegor

Feb 16, 2018

0

#21

A hotel is hosting a Christmas Chess tournament, and the manager is in the foyer to welcome guests. He overhears the first competitors coming in... 'No one stands a chance against me, I'm a chess God...' Then another player says 'My ELO is beyond compare...'. Yet another is heard saying 'I can win this blindfold...'

Eventually, the hotel manager shouts 'Right, the lot of you, OUT!'

'But why?' they ask, 'we're here for the Christmas tournament!'

The manager says 'If there's one thing I can't stand, it's chess nuts boasting in an open foyer!'

Forkedupagain

Feb 16, 2018

0

#22

I was playing Chess with my girlfriend last night after a couple games, She said let's make this interesting. So we stopped playing Chess.

catwarriors

Feb 18, 2018

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#23

So there were two people playing chess. The girl played black and the boy played white. But the boy says that the girl should go first. The girl says, No you should because your playing white. So the boy says, what about the lady's first rule? And she says, how about we just switch sides? So the man says ok.

RubenHogenhout

Feb 18, 2018

0

#24

herdwars schreef:

A man was travelling by train and he had a chessboard in front of him and was studying a game.

His fellow passenger was looking at him and said.... "ah you play chess, that 's nice let us play a game. " The man replied " I have to warn you beforehand, I am a very strong player in the town where I live people call me the little Euwe. " His fellow passenger smiled a little and replied "Oh well lets see how it goes". They started to play and little Euwe was loosing in a terrible way. After resigning he said " I do not understand , how can you play so strong" . His opponent replied "Well they call you the little Euwe and you played not bad, but you lost because I am the big Euwe"

Nice against me they mosty say who s moves is it? Or Do you play against yourself and who is winning?

Lancelot325

Feb 18, 2018

0

#25

An opposing Queen and a Bishop stood in front of each other.

The Bishop said: I'm sorry, m'am but I can't kiss your hand .

The Queen answered: Don't worry, I can kick your ass!

hitthepin

Mar 10, 2018

0

#26

Pawns despise bishops. They’re ok with Knights, and Rooks keep to themselves. But they hate hate hate bishops. Therefore, whenever they hate an enemy piece so much they want to capture it, thy are reminded of their hatred of bishops and therefore capture diagonally.