Jokes

Post your funniest jokes here!

Two pawns walked into a bar...

"Drinks are on me.  I just got a promotion!"

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahha

Nice one soldier

You should not encourage me!  OK.  These don't have to be Chess Jokes, right?  Here is a funny one:

The lady goes to the doctor and says, "My problem is, I am farting all the time.  They are silent and they don't smell, but it bothers me.  In fact, I farted 15 times since I entered your office!."  So the doctor orders she take these pills and return in a week.  A week later, she returns very angry and says, "Doctor, I am still farting and now they smell terrible!"

So the doctor replies, "Now that we have fixed your sinuses, we can work on your sense of hearing."

Lol

Obviously if you looked at the title then you would know that😂

Squarely you are so funny

Many thanks, DragonWhisperer.  To laugh is to make less the grief.

Here is another one of my favorites:

The lady wants to buy a bird at the petstore, but the owner cautions her the bird was in a navy port and has a filthy mouth.  The lady buys the bird anyway and sure enough, as she walks past, the bird says, "S***, S***, S***.  So the lady puts the bird in the refrigerator for 5 minutes to discourgage that behavior.  Anyway, as she is leaving, the bird says the same thing.  So this time, the lady puts the bird in the freezer.  The bird looks at a big frozen turkey and says, "What did you say? F***?"

Sorry...most of the jokes I remember are a little blue.  I don't want to offend.  But what is the deal with doctors? 

I was getting a Prostrate exam and chose a bad moment to start bad-mouthing the medical profession.  The doctor inserted another finger and I said, "Hey, that hurts!" and he replied, "I just though you should have a second opinion."

So I changed doctors for the same exam and during the check-up I said, "Doctor, I just have one question...why are both your hands on my shoulders?"

Please delete that last one it is a little to inappropriate

Two Rooks doubled up on a pinned Queen and made a video.