Looking for funny one-liners describing chess moves

Hello,
I programmed a tool to output videos on chess puzzles www.youtube.com/channel/UCFkJqTAgoVa09ZmtS9BN1Vg
The narration is based on one liners such as:
" profits from {destination} to edit a DIY video on perpetual energy, hiding the batteries... ",
" heads to {destination} while overpaying for Tesla self-driving options for the greater good, ",
" wonders why you have to hear: You have reached your destination on {destination},",
" is G P S guided to within a few millimeters of {destination}, ",
" has no real way to make money fast but talks about it on Youtube to make money fast on {destination} ,",
" sails to {destination} with back winds so it is kinda slow, ",
" moonwalks to {destination} in honour of Michael Jackson who was bad, really bad, ",
" is Uber riding to {destination}, without tipping, ",
" makes a beeline for {destination}, ",
" takes the scenic route to {destination}, ",
" with an application, counts steps to {destination}, feels it 40 percent off, ", and so on.

So I wanted to start a thread for all you potential comedy writers who might contribute to the dictionary. The template describes regular moves, en passant, promotion, check, check mate, stalemate, captures.

For example for captures:
" auditions the {captured_piece} on {square} for lead in The Invisible Man, ",
" Harry Potters, the {captured_piece} on {square}, that's right it disappeared, ",
" Gandalfs the {captured_piece} on {square} to another REALM, ",
" makes the {captured_piece} on {square} vanish, ",
" could swear it saw the {captured_piece} on {square} for a brief moment, ",
" wonders if the {captured_piece} on {square} will go to chess Valhalla, ",
" sends, the {captured_piece} on {square} to the MATRIX, ",
" recycles the {captured_piece} on {square} into a USB lamp, ",

Looking forward for your contributions, I'm running low on imagination.