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  • #141

    There's a guy who lives in Ohio. One morning, he hears a voice in his head. The voice says, "Quit your job, sell your house, take all your money, and go to Las Vegas."

    He ignores the voice. Later in the day, he hears the voice again. "Quit your job, sell your house, take all your money, and go to Las Vegas."

    Again, he ignores the voice. Soon he hears the voice every minute of the day. "Quit your job, sell your house, take all your money, and move to Las Vegas."

    He can't take it anymore. He believes the voice. He quits his job, sells his house, takes all his money, and flies to Las Vegas. As soon as he steps off the plane, the voice says, '"Go to Caesar's Palace."

    He goes to Caesar's Palace and the voice says, "Make your way to the roulette tables."

    He goes to the roulette tables and the voice says, "Put all your money on red 23."

    He puts all his money on red 23. The dealer spins the wheel. It comes up black 17.

    The voice says, "F**k."

  • #142
    ulfhednar_b0ss wrote:

    'why did the chicken cross the road?'

    To get away from all the media outlets that were publicly questioning his every move?

  • #143

    What is the best part of being conservative? I'm always right

  • #144

    What did the pencil say to the paper? "I offer you a draw"

  • #145

    What did the chicken say when he smelled the horrible stench of rotten eggs. 

     

     

     

     

    "What's that fowl smell?!"

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