True, but do you realise that the person concerned was a national champion (New Zealand) and helped Fischer prepare for the 1972 world championship? 
Signs you're a bad chess player
Sort:
Sep 21, 2011
0
#222
- You sac a piece thinking it'll give a material advantage of 2 pawns, after playing moves you realise you didn't take the fact that you sacced a knight into your calculations.
- You spend 5 minutes on a move and still miss the fact that your opponents queen is en prise.
- You fianchetto your kings bishop so often that when the bishop isn't fianchettoed you are unable to understand the position.
- You spend all your time learning endgames because any more than 5 pieces on the board and you get dizzy.
- Every defeat prompts you to announce you're "giving up chess".
- Every victory means you're going to be FIDE master in 2 years.
- All wins are counted as "lucky".
- You only analyse your victories.
- You're out of book on move 2, or you would be if you had a book.
- You don't play e4/e5 because you need to protect your f pawn.
- The only tactics you do are mate in 2 puzzles.
- You've spent 15 years developing your opening and you still have no idea what you'll play on move 1 in your next game.
- You don't do rated tactics trainer any more because you've got to "protect your rating".
- You're so ADHD that even bullet chess is considered too long.
- You play someone half your rating and afterwords they start giving you hints on how to play.
- You don't consider yourself mentally capable of playing correspondance chess.
Sep 21, 2011
0
#224
VanillaCokehead wrote:
The only tactics you do are mate in 2 puzzles.
Mate in 2 puzzles can be rather hard. Perhaps helpmate in 1 puzzles, instead.
13. "You don't do rated tactics trainer any more because you've got to "protect your rating".
I would add "protect your rating" is a pretty lame excuse to do anything.
I once did one of Nunn's mate in two puzzles, and it was a friendly challenge that took me about 30 minutes to solve.
baddogno wrote:
That's a great link, Elroch. I think the story of a master losing 20 games and drawing 10 against Russian schoolboys is even better.
Hey every Russian schoolboy knows tons about chess!
When your opponent starts laughing at your moves.
14- when we keep posting in this forum...
VanillaCokehead wrote:
You sac a piece thinking it'll give a material advantage of 2 pawns, after playing moves you realise you didn't take the fact that you sacced a knight into your calculations. You spend 5 minutes on a move and still miss the fact that your opponents queen is en prise. You fianchetto your kings bishop so often that when the bishop isn't fianchettoed you are unable to understand the position. You spend all your time learning endgames because any more than 5 pieces on the board and you get dizzy. Every defeat prompts you to announce you're "giving up chess". Every victory means you're going to be FIDE master in 2 years. All wins are counted as "lucky". You only analyse your victories. You're out of book on move 2, or you would be if you had a book. You don't play e4/e5 because you need to protect your f pawn. The only tactics you do are mate in 2 puzzles. You've spent 15 years developing your opening and you still have no idea what you'll play on move 1 in your next game. You don't do rated tactics trainer any more because you've got to "protect your rating". You're so ADHD that even bullet chess is considered too long. You play someone half your rating and afterwords they start giving you hints on how to play. You don't consider yourself mentally capable of playing correspondance chess.
Mate, I don't know who you are but you scare the bejesus out of me. You've pretty much peered into my soul and exposed it to the world.
17. You don't feel mentally capable of reading this thread anymore.
ploboo wrote:
VanillaCokehead wrote:
You sac a piece thinking it'll give a material advantage of 2 pawns, after playing moves you realise you didn't take the fact that you sacced a knight into your calculations. You spend 5 minutes on a move and still miss the fact that your opponents queen is en prise. You fianchetto your kings bishop so often that when the bishop isn't fianchettoed you are unable to understand the position. You spend all your time learning endgames because any more than 5 pieces on the board and you get dizzy. Every defeat prompts you to announce you're "giving up chess". Every victory means you're going to be FIDE master in 2 years. All wins are counted as "lucky". You only analyse your victories. You're out of book on move 2, or you would be if you had a book. You don't play e4/e5 because you need to protect your f pawn. The only tactics you do are mate in 2 puzzles. You've spent 15 years developing your opening and you still have no idea what you'll play on move 1 in your next game. You don't do rated tactics trainer any more because you've got to "protect your rating". You're so ADHD that even bullet chess is considered too long. You play someone half your rating and afterwords they start giving you hints on how to play. You don't consider yourself mentally capable of playing correspondance chess.
Mate, I don't know who you are but you scare the bejesus out of me. You've pretty much peered into my soul and exposed it to the world.
17. You don't feel mentally capable of reading this thread anymore.
heh 
ahaha. Now I can determine if I am a bad chess player.
...You lose a lot
;)
Nice.
You consider en passant move only playable at a plane.
You really believe that 2.Ke2 is a breaking novelty .
You can fianchetto a knight.
You don't count pawn losses.
You aim for a smothered mate by grabbing opponent's neck .
You have to someone keep telling you that a knight does not move like a bishop.
Sep 24, 2011
0
#238
Here's my stab at some attempted humor.
When you think you can use the Force to move your pieces and predict your opponent's next move.
@BobLorna: Not bad. 
Well, I liked it, anyway.
That's a great link, Elroch. I think the story of a master losing 20 games and drawing 10 against Russian schoolboys is even better.