You think that naming your pieces provides magical powers that garantee always winning...when in fact the magical power garantees losing.
Signs you're a bad chess player
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Oct 5, 2011
0
#343
You think the only time to offer a draw is as an attempt to save an utterly lost position.
1. You give your pieces names
2. When you play against someone else you call your pieces the names you gave them
3. You refuse to play chess on any board except on your "lucky board"
4. You try to avoid exchanging pieces because it would be "mean" to the pieces
5. You think that if you you offer a draw, your opponent has to agree
6. You bring an ipod to tournaments in case you get bored waiting for your opponent to move
7. Your rival is a rock named rocky
8. You take chess lessons from a monkey called Bobo
9. When someone explains the "touch-move" rule to you, you respond by touching all your pieces and then moving them
10. You always lose, even if you cheat
Oct 5, 2011
0
#345
You play the Bongcloud without consulting King Lenny in the great beyond(caused by checkmateibeatu's relentless hatred towards him winning the CPOTM title)
Sign you're a bad chess player:
- Chess strategy doesn't exist for you and so you think it doesn't exist at all.
- You think Steinitz was a fictional character and that chess started with Rybka.
Oct 5, 2011
0
#347
your opponent plays a handicap of three moves and you play e4 bc4 qh5
You thought everyone was going to wear an orange nose and floppy shoes to the tournament.
ker123 wrote:
.....
9. When someone explains the "touch-move" rule to you, you respond by touching all your pieces and then moving them
.....
Now THAT'S funny!
Oct 5, 2011
0
#351
ker123 wrote:
10. You always lose, even if you cheat
I really like this.
You think "castling" means putting your king in a toy castle off the board so he's safe from checkmate.
You can't even spell ches.
Oct 6, 2011
0
#354
We're very close to 400 posts now. Uh, what's another sign? Oh, how 'bout this?
You're a bad chess player if you don't think there is a difference between live chess and correspondence chess.
theunderground702 wrote:
Kolob68 wrote:
You offer your opponent a draw after he checkmated you.
Maaahahahahahahah
I just pictured a dude with a totally earnest face stand up and offer a draw after being mated.
You accepted the draw offer after you checkmated him :)
Oct 6, 2011
0
#356
ponnupazoozu wrote:
theunderground702 wrote:
You can't even spell ches.
reminds me of an AI lecturer who set this question in his examinations out of frustration:
the following is the name of a programming language:
a) lips
b) lisp
c) lisps
That's difficult... I think I'll have to ask Stallman...
IMDeviate wrote:
408 posts now, has anyone mentioned:
You think your opponent was cheating and you post in the forums, turned out the moves are called castling and en passant.
plus 1!
You don't really like offering draws, instead, you offer that your opponent resign.
Oct 7, 2011
0
#359
posporov051560 wrote:
You accepted the draw offer after you checkmated him :)
Now there's a sign of a bad chess player.
You offer your opponent a draw after he checkmated you.
Maaahahahahahahah
I just pictured a dude with a totally earnest face stand up and offer a draw after being mated.