That was really funny Tom... the Vets Group would enjoy it for sure
(Veterans of the Armed Forces )
Signs you're a bad chess player
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Sign you're a bad chess player:
- You think the term "en passant" refers to a bathroom break.
- You enjoy debating whether bishops or knights are better.
- You think you are entitled to a bump in your IQ score because you play chess.
MyCowsCanFly wrote:
N2UHC wrote:
Signs you're a bad chess player
Your opponent refers to you as NN.
I must be a bad chess player because I do not know what this means.
Also, When playing on a real board you are waiting for the computer to tell you wether you are making illegal moves or not.
leapor68 wrote:
MyCowsCanFly wrote:
N2UHC wrote:
Signs you're a bad chess player
Your opponent refers to you as NN.
I must be a bad chess player because I do not know what this means.
In addition to a definition, here are the chess games of NN:
http://www.chessgames.com/perl/chessplayer?pid=12883
MyCowsCanFly wrote:
Sign you're a bad chess player:
You think the term "en passant" refers to a bathroom break. You enjoy debating whether bishops or knights are better. You think you are entitled to a bump in your IQ score because you play chess.funny, My cow..but
no
no
no
but, yes, I am a bad player. Have to come up with a better list! 
Your opponent starts giggling after ten moves and after twelve moves you're down a piece
echecs06 wrote:
everyone of your move is a blunder!
Your Fritz's "Blunder Check" asked for a raise.
You know you're a bad player when:
- Eeveryone laughs when you offer a draw.
- Your best result is a draw agreed on move 2.
ReasonableDoubt wrote:
Your repertoire consists mostly of gambits.
You compare your style to Morphy.
Your idea of a tactic is taking a pinned piece.
You think pawn endings are simple.
You slap !! on half of your moves in the post-mortem, despite losing the game.
You bought Rybka instead of getting a stronger engine for free.
You think the four move checkmate is sneaky.
You think of your "style" as positional when in reality you're just scared of tactics.
You are either terrified of openings or you claim to be an expert in them.
You play long strings of theory despite not having a clue what is going on in the game.
You get Kasparov and Karpov mixed up.
You have to remember "white on right" and "queen on her color" to set up a board correctly.
You look at the letters and numbers when you notate.
Your idea of a strong move is one that "they won't expect".
You think that your chess.com rating is an accurate indication of your playing strength.
You think that GMs today are "wimpy" for having too many drawn games.
Your idea of psychology in chess is desperately trying to trade pieces whenever you play a stronger opponent.
You play Najdorf/Catalan and claim to fully understand it.
And last, but not least:
You are rated over 2700 turn-based at chess.com.
this made me LOL pretty hard. thank you. another brilliancy from your camp.
MyCowsCanFly wrote:
You enjoy debating whether bishops or knights are better.
do you think rooks or outposted knights are more valueable?
Your most successful opening is the Fool's Mate.
you think pawns are so awesome you sacrifice a piece for a pawn just to ttry and queen your pawn...
then your opponent checkmates you AFTER cruelly eliminating you pawns one at a time.
Sign you're a bad chess player:
- You aspire to be considered a patzer.
- If you left chess.com, the average rating of the remaining members would increase by several points.
- After staff notice your poor play, you are the first member asked to leave chess.com for incompetence. This is my biggest fear.
- You've been advised to consider "Chess for Dummies" as advanced material.
- You find it easy to write a list of signs you're a bad chess player.
That was easy.
I have one better.. A GM telling you to" go ahead and play me"...then he beats in 10 moves (if that many), and says "you are the worst beginner I have ever played".
... you get kicked off a chess team of 3 people, and the team needs 4 people to compete.
[COMMENT DELETED]
---Wizeyed--- wrote:
I did what Fisher did in a game by sacrificing a queen for nothing and managed to win but offcoarse i wasn't playing a gm. If u don't believe me check my games archive
What the heck is that a picture of?
You know you are bad at chess when you sit all day at your computer wondering how in the world computer2- medium managed to beat you after sacrificing all of it's minor pieces for pawns!
If you lose a game and your rating goes up.
If you score -1 at a tournament.