Signs you're a bad chess player

you make 8 pawn moves out of the first 10 moves

You prefer to have the dark square at your right elbow. Otherwise, you get snarky.

thx

You spend more time in the toilet stall with your smart phone than you do at the chess table.

you move fast n easy,then say to self.what a dumb move.

You constantly drop your king after the first move.

You are absolutely certain that black always goes first.

You stare at the board for twenty minutes when you have mate in two, and your opponent asks what you're waiting for. You go, "Sorry, I just spaced out."

1. you do not know the 4 move checkmte or how to stop it
2. you  somehow nearly allways get checkmated in 2 moves
3. you have a rating for games with no time under 600
4. you are absolutly certan that black goes first

I hope no one else said this.

You are absolutely certain that black goes first.

I sure hope that that's sarcasm.

probably just mocking post 1043.

You cannot serve two Masters!  Or else you will love the one and hate the other.  Chess Styles are to be obtain from the guides of our Stars of the Game.  If a chess player don't study one master completely; then that particular chess player will not grasp the needed psychological aspects of the game.  Choose one Grandmaster or Master and serve him idefinitely.  If not; one will forever show signs of a bad chess player.  Relate Fischer to Morphy, Botvinnik to Tchigorin, and Kasparov/Karpov to Botvinnik!

To you, winning means that you can smash your opponent's king with your fist (or, better, with your shoe).

you're a bad chess player if you relate to any of posts on this thread

In strategic preparation for the big game, you don't bathe for three weeks in advance.

Yes I believe that was the point of this thread.
"Define: signs" 

Favourite thus far; brilliant.

Thank you. He stole it from me, you see.