Signs you're a bad chess player

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AlCzervik

Vlad is your instructor.

e4nf3

Of course, you guys are referring to Andy's best pal, VladBGhita.

I'd have to disagree. I think he'd be a good chess coach.

You want a bad chess coach? Well, here:

jp_23
e4nf3 wrote:

Of course, you guys are referring to Andy's best pal, VladBGhita.

I'd have to disagree. I think he'd be a good chess coach.

You want a bad chess coach? Well, here:

 

This is what you bad chess players out there would call zugswang. If both of you stay still, then nobody has a problem. If you move, you'll fall flat on your face. If the woman moves, it will be as painful as this:

Either way, stick a fork in yourself, or a ruler in this case, cause you're done.

e4nf3

Ah hmmm...excuse me, before you say "you bad chess players out there"...you need to explain why your tactical trainer score is 1054.

And, why you are showing a one-move fork like it is a big deal.

coalescenet

If black moves, black wins though.

polarbear2217

You are losing the game and when you look up, you notice that your opponent is reading a book. (Happened to me)

bobbyDK
polarbear2217 wrote:

You are losing the game and when you look up, you notice that your opponent is reading a book. (Happened to me)

your opponent is not allowed to read a book during a chess tournament. how can you tell that he hasn't his chess notes in one of his pages. if it is a chess book he might even have the position in the book that is in the game with best move suggestion and explanation.

yourmindillusions

hi all arn't we supposed to look at the opponent and the chess board you know like poker or any other games because i do that :)

e4nf3

I don't care that everyone says you are a bad chess player. I know that your heart is in the right place.

coalescenet

you are a funny guy, e4Nf3 :)

e4nf3
yourmindillusions wrote:

hi all arn't we supposed to look at the opponent and the chess board you know like poker or any other games because i do that :)

Yeah...but staring would be rude. Just an occasional "evil eye", but don't be blatant about it.

Isamaila

damn! How did you perfectly know me. Hehehe then i'm a badest player.

ChazR

You could be a bad player if you have to go to the toilet in time trouble.

polarbear2217
bobbyDK wrote:
polarbear2217 wrote:

You are losing the game and when you look up, you notice that your opponent is reading a book. (Happened to me)

your opponent is not allowed to read a book during a chess tournament. how can you tell that he hasn't his chess notes in one of his pages. if it is a chess book he might even have the position in the book that is in the game with best move suggestion and explanation.

It was a casual game with one of my friends.

e4nf3
ISHAKUSAMAILA wrote:

damn! How did you perfectly know me. Hehehe then i'm a badest player.

Well, you know, being a "bad" chess player isn't so bad (pun intended). It all just depends on how "less bad" we want to be.

I am getting less bad every day...of course, there are flat plateaus in between.

So, "badest" is kind of good. The goal might ultimately be "badass" chess player. That is when bad is very, very good. lol

yourmindillusions
e4nf3 wrote:
yourmindillusions wrote:

hi all arn't we supposed to look at the opponent and the chess board you know like poker or any other games because i do that :)

Yeah...but staring would be rude. Just an occasional "evil eye", but don't be blatant about it.

llike one of these  :D

yourmindillusions

i like the (4,2) because it's evil and funny at the same time it makes the other player realy confused :D

coalescenet

(4,1) is eviler!

zman1234
yourmindillusions wrote:

i like the (4,2) because it's evil and funny at the same time it makes the other player realy confused :D

But the best way to confuse your opponent is to say "pizza" during your turn.......mmmmm....pizza.

yourmindillusions
11qq11 wrote:

(4,1) is eviler!

maybe but i don't think that clowns are that scary instead i think they are funny lol :D