Signs you're a bad chess player

i agree.. the only thing that makes me worried is that when i say pizza i will get confused myself :D

I'm playing a guy like that right now. And, he is overwhelmingly defeated but won't resign. When he wins, it's usually on time...and this is s-l-o-w chess. Takes up to the full 3 days to move. I'm not complaining (well, a little) but mostly just reporting.

If you are playing online...then have 10, 20 or more games going at the same time and someone annoying like that hardly stands out.

Or, if you can...either don't ever play him again and, if you do, establish tight time controls.

If I am playing someone OTB...I ask for 30 minute time controls per side. That way, I'm never stuck with a dog for more than an hour. And, I almost   never (OK...my brother, he's the exception...and I'm teaching him) play anyone any more without a clock. Been there...done that!!!

I dont mind players like that! I have 70 games going though..a bit different...

There you go! As I said...

At the moment, I am just wrapping up this one last game. So, it is a bit annoying.

I didn't really want to take on any more new games for the time being. But, I might as well. I still have to keep checking to see if this guy has made his move yet...he likes to drive people crazy so they will quit.

With me? No way! So, I think I'll take my own advice and start loading up. What the hay.

..what doesn't kill you makes you stronger....

A long, long time ago...you were a bad chess player.

You stll are. 

But, some good news: You have finally "come to peace" with it.

And, that takes a big load off your mind.

Its just a game. What matters is that you tried your best.

The fork was meant as a joke to relate to my point of the situation being painful. It didn't happen in a game or anything. I just made it up. Further, I'm pretty sure I only used tactical trainer once, back when I first joined, so that's not an accurate number. However, I have a 1700+ rating in slow chess after a number of tournaments with various teams. I'm not saying I'm the best, but I don't think that's bad.

PS I'm still in AP Engish mode, so sorry if that seems a little strongly worded.

You're a bad chess player if...

You think that a bishop is a form of exercise

Your king disserts your army

Your pieces frequently change into your opponent's color

Your king tips himself over

Every time your opponent touches his king you expect him to resign

You hear tiny whimpering sounds coming from the board each time you move.

You'd always rather resign than draw

Your flag falls on an analog clock and you claim it was the wind.

You think that in a stalemated position, the stalemated person forfiets his move and his opponent gets to move again

when this happens

Well, if someone is a bad chess player then what difference does it make that they are also a bad loser? At least it's consistent.

Back in 1960, I finally won against someone who thought he was a good chess player. He accused me of cheating (how that could have been, I don't have a clue...there were no cell phones back then and I never left the board).

He threw the board, with all the pieces on it, up in the air and he screamed at me: "You cheated!"

Good chess player but BAD loser. I should have kicked him in the shins or something. Except, he was about 30 years older than me and he was my boss.

The motto of the USCF was:  it's about the play.  Unless you are champion of the world, there is somebody better.   I strongly advise anyone not to get emotional. Chess is a game.  We can theorize and make analogies, but it still a board game that children learn and old people play.  Losing does not mean you are stupid.  It is what it is.  The fun is playing.  And if you can find a partner who enjoys the game...well, that is another game. 

Well done. Only a bonafide bad chess player could be so humble, frank and uplifting about losing. You deserve to be commended.

When you think to yourself after every loss:

Well..it's just a game.....

Another day...another loss. But, this is definitely the last time.

I have already condomed....did you say commended?

You actually can cheat in chess.  I had someone try to cheat against me, by moving his knight to a great square, but it was an illegal move (2 squares up and 2 over). He did it quickly and tried to distract me, but I still caught it. I've also seen players castle queenside, as they would on the kingside (3 moves towards the queen's rook instead of 2).  Then there's the player who sets the board up wrong (queen on wrong color, board turned 90 degrees with black on the right or their knights and bishops switched).  However, I believe those to have been beginner mistakes and not cheating.  I've also seen illegal en passant moves, by novices who didn't understand the rule fully.  These are all signs that you're an inexperienced chess player.  However, if you get mated by a Scholar's or Fool's mate more than once in your life ............  lol  

There is a book titled, "How to Cheat at Chess."  Hilarious, one of 500 chess books in my library.

I resigned a live c.c game after a few moves because I had to leave the computer for dinner and I didn't want to make my opponent sit there for five minutes.

Yeah, I hate it when my wife yells at me to come to dinner...with an edge on her voice...when I am doing something very, very important concerning chess.

"Yes, honey...I'm coming."