"The numerical code is self-evident, seeing as Knights are worth 3 points." Dr. Chattie's voice dripped with the certitude of expertise.
"Wait, what about these Bishops??? They say 1-7." This Reporter cleverly countered.
"That's obviously because sometimes a Bishop is worth more than a Knight, sometimes less. It depends on the position, you pathetic patzer."
"Look out, Godzilla, it's Kong!"
The smack on the upside of this Reporter's head was swift and decisive.
"Get back inside, dumdum, we've got some serious science to do!" Sanjay was practically apoplectic.
"Listen," Sanjay hissed "'Erika' just told me that we can have virtually unlimited funding if we can get to the bottom of this en-passant conundrum. Now does this set have it or not?"
"Gee, maybe we could take another look at the rule booklet, once it started talking about how to use the aerodynamic design feature for speed chess, it was like, wheeee."
"Let's see what it says in the Pawn section:"
"Hmmm ... very thorough. They took the care to make sure the otherwise murky rule of pawns going forward only was crystal clear by specifying 'never backward'". Sanjay sounded impressed.
"There's something familiar about that wording, can't quite place it..." this Reporter was bemused.
"Never mind that part, what about the cryptograph on the right? 1-(2), then the unitary arrow followed with bifurcated ones???"
"And take a closer look at the board diagram ... it doesn't even make sense. Must be a code."
––––––––––––––––––––––––––
Sanjay took out his loupe and leaned in even closer to the mysterious document. "For once, my Clever Clown, you may be right!"
"Of course!" Sanjay shouted.
"Of cou––"
"Don't, just don't. Look, the '1' clearly corresponds to the single arrow, whilst the '(2)' is plainly referring to the double arrows!"
"Knew that."
"No, you didn't."
"Did too."
"No, you didn't"...
"Hmm ... the the reverse side of the box shows a totally different set than that contained therein . Whaaat??? That's not even possible!" Dr. Chattie was unnaturally unnerved.
"But it says 'Chess Teacher', so it must be infallible?!?" this Reporter was emphatic, sort of.
"Synchronize Decoder Rings." Sanjay was matter-of-fact.
"Clearly marked pieces make learning chess easy... clearly marked pieces make learning chess easy... clearly marked pieces make learning chess easy...."
Breaking Now: chess.com unilaterally announces today, 9/8, as "En-Passant Awareness Day" in daily puzzle explanation video!
Reporting from an undisclosed location ...
The World of Chess is, indeed, again, Challenged with the Great Question –– of ... En Passant.
Is En Passant even Real???
And, even if it is, does it deserve its own "Awareness Day"?
And, who is the real father ... of En Passant?
Stay Tuned to find out.
Breaking Now: chess.com unilaterally announces today, 9/8 as "En-Passant Awareness Day" in daily puzzle explanation video!
Reporting from an undisclosed location ...
The World of Chess is, indeed, again, Challenged with the Great Question –– of ... En Passant.
Is En Passant even Real???
And, even if it is, does it deserve its own "Awareness Day"?
And, who is the real father ... of En Passant?
Stay Tuned to find out.
YEEEESSSSS
Love it!
The essence of investigative journalism is documentation. It is with great risk that this internal microfilm memorandum was unearthed by This Reporter's ingenuity and diligence:
Master Copeland has, so far, declined to comment for this article.
"Hmmm...early backward-facing Etruscan Knight design, I'll have to consult the database to try and decode the hieroglyphs at the base of the pieces." Sanjay stroked his chin thoughtfully.
"Those are some cool looking Knights, yo. They look like the original Godzilla!"
"Will you just, just ... ah, never mind."