So I'll start a game

The rules are simple.

I first give some opening. Then you must create a sentence (serious or completely crazy) that tells why this opening is bad. And you must then write "I prefer ... " (whether this is true or not). And the game continues like this.

Example :

Player A = Philidor Defence

Player B = Oh please... I could put my sandwich on the chessboard and it would be better! I prefer Damiano Defence

Player C = Damiano Defence? It's so stupid... Nxe5 and the position is winning for white. I prefer Alekhine's Defence. etc...

The first opening is ... Ruy Lopez, Closed Variation

nobody?

Did I do it right?

Hmmm... no...

I hate the Ruy Lopez 'cuz I knew a boy in school named Roy and he was a jerk. I like the Sodium Attack (1. Na3)........

I don't like the Sodium Attack because it reminds me of Chemistry, which I hate... Instead, I prefer the Daeth Opining (1. d4 d5 2. h4!!)

The Daeth opening is too close to the Death Opening and I don't need any help dying in the opening...

I prefer the Four Knights Opening which reminds me of the TV show, Merlin, which I love!

I hate playing against the 4 Knights. My opponent can play a Halloween Gambit.

I prefer the Traxler Counterattack

Please only the Trix rabbit plays Traxler and you know how successful he is. I prefer a nice Queen's Gambit.

"Off with her head!", screams the Queen's Gambit and frightens me so I turn to The Scotch to comfort me.

After I drink 3 gallons of Scotch, I decided to play the Irish gambit.

The irish gambit is so dubious that even a baby would refuse to play it in a tournament game.

I love when people play 3. Nxe5?! against the damiano. 3. Bc4 is only fun for white, though.

Damiano, Irish?

Oh, please. So you play babies?

I prefer a slice of ITALIAN pizza. Who wants a slice?

Italian? No thanks. The Trompowsky is so fun!

Fried liver is a somewhat dubious opening.

I liked Evans gambit.

The Evans gambit is tricky, I like the Scandinavian.

Ugh, there's norway I'd ever play that...

I like the Marshall Attack..

I don't like the Marshall Attack because I've never heard of it.

I like the Sicilian Dragon