How to play chess wrong answers only

you castle queenside by moving the rook 2 squares and put the king on the opposite side of it

resign if you get even one point down, even if you are winning a queen this turn

You hate the player instead of hating the game

You always play chess thinking that the timer represents the time remaining before you win a prize (i.e. a prize can be won when the time runs out)

you bribe the opponent 

you put the opponents piecces in a blender

You shake your opponents hand before the game but use a hand buzzer and then laugh so much that you start coughing and need to be pulled out.

You smash the board with a hammer. No board means you cannot lose.

Play scholars mate knowing dawg well your queen will be taken

Goal is to be checkmated

You only use en passant to capture pawns. 😋

You kill your king

Gamble: If you play as white, then the best move would be to take your own king with your pawn and promote backwards to an air molecule. If you're black, then instantly resign.

blindfolded, against multiple opponents.

You win by promoting your king at the opposing row.