Ways To Cheat At Chess - Just for Fun, Relax
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April 10
All those in favor of promoting Erik to "Assistant Regional Manager," of Chess.com say Aye "))- No Shrute bucks are allowed and no Goju-Ryu if anyone has a dissenting vote :)-
Mar 12, 2008
0
#24
The Medieval Royalty option. Bash your opponent over the head with the board. It happened once. Oh, it helps if the board is suitably sturdy, one of those roll up plastic things probably wouldn't be suitable.
Assistant TO the Regional Manager.
Who is Jeff18? He is on 1.place on chess.com Is he titled player? I am glad that he is here? I would like to see his games but unfortunaly he delete his games :(
Here ya go.
and with Stanley's comment back...
Not really.
Mar 12, 2008
0
#30
WHAT! Shawshank Redemption is one of my all time favs! Such a bad ass movie.
Good tactics, apart from you calling the knight 'horsey!'
ivandh wrote:
"You could go against the Sicilian when death is on the line, definately a morgue toe tag game."
Haha, Princess Bride, eh?
And keeping with Faye Dunaway's stratagem, there are two options that can be drawn from a true incident. Wherein, one player insisted he was unable to concentrate in the game due to his female opponent's choice of undergarments.
Princess bride! ah good stuff, i love that scene. Good example of game theory.
I think calling the horsey a horsey is extremely funny. But then that's me. I also think that "How does the horsey move?" is funny. I like, "King me!", too.
I have taken away my recommendation for Erik to be "Assistant Regional Manager," I misstepped my boundries. If Erik was actually promoted to a lofty position like that, "promoted to his level of incompetence," there would be no head room for the rest of his. His ego would blot out the sun and cause us indefinate back pains from stooping! Since this site has so many members I have reconsidered him for "Kindergarten Cop" all in favor raise your hands?
1. Whip out a deck of Knightmare Chess, having pre-rigged the deck to have the card 'Fireball' on top. Then in the middle of game, send a Knight deep behind enemy lines, or adjacent a Queen and play the card, ultimately having the Knight committing kamikaze and taking down all pieces in the 8 adjacent squares. Then insist that you've been playing Knightmare Chess this whole time, and wondered why this is the first card ever played all game.
2. Whip out the Magic the Gathering card called 'Armaggedon' and play it, thus wiping all pieces from the board, ending in a draw.
3. Cast permanent sanctuary on your King and then timestop on your opponent's King. Then each turn, proceed to your opponent's King and capture it with your own.
4. Do the unthinkable: Urinate on your opponent's pieces. Then resume play. "Desperate times call for desperate measures!"
5. Convince your opponent that you can play blind. Then place a blindfold over your eyes and ask the opponent to move your pieces for you. Then pick an easy piece to remember, and tell the opponent to move it to the square occupied by his/her King. If they accuse you of committing an illegal move, accuse them back for rigging the board and taking advantage of a player playing blind.
6. Play on a thin board on a thin tabletop with magnetic pieces. Then move pieces that the opponent is not paying attention to whenever an opportunity arises. Ensure that the pieces you move provide you with positional advantage. If the opponent questions an altered position, respond claiming that he or she was watching the board the entire game, which makes that happening highly unlikely.
7. Insist that you play on a shot-glass or alcohol-driven chessboard. Then kindly offer to set up the board with the drinks, ensuring that little to no alcohol goes into your opponents pieces, and then add extra to your own. Then take advantage of the game later as your opponent becomes more and more drunk, while having a friend videotape it for future reference (or when he/she is sober).
8. For girls: Stuff the opposing pieces in your private areas prior to the match (or make it seem as close to the real thing as possible). Then slowly reveal this feat if you feel you are losing.
9. For guys: Fart really heavily on the chessboard. Then resume play.
10. For kids: Pick your nose and don't wipe your hands whenever you move your own pieces. The opponent will feel less inclined to make captures.
2. Whip out the Magic the Gathering card called 'Armaggedon' and play it, thus wiping all pieces from the board, ending in a draw.
3. Cast permanent sanctuary on your King and then timestop on your opponent's King. Then each turn, proceed to your opponent's King and capture it with your own.
4. Do the unthinkable: Urinate on your opponent's pieces. Then resume play. "Desperate times call for desperate measures!"
5. Convince your opponent that you can play blind. Then place a blindfold over your eyes and ask the opponent to move your pieces for you. Then pick an easy piece to remember, and tell the opponent to move it to the square occupied by his/her King. If they accuse you of committing an illegal move, accuse them back for rigging the board and taking advantage of a player playing blind.
6. Play on a thin board on a thin tabletop with magnetic pieces. Then move pieces that the opponent is not paying attention to whenever an opportunity arises. Ensure that the pieces you move provide you with positional advantage. If the opponent questions an altered position, respond claiming that he or she was watching the board the entire game, which makes that happening highly unlikely.
7. Insist that you play on a shot-glass or alcohol-driven chessboard. Then kindly offer to set up the board with the drinks, ensuring that little to no alcohol goes into your opponents pieces, and then add extra to your own. Then take advantage of the game later as your opponent becomes more and more drunk, while having a friend videotape it for future reference (or when he/she is sober).
8. For girls: Stuff the opposing pieces in your private areas prior to the match (or make it seem as close to the real thing as possible). Then slowly reveal this feat if you feel you are losing.
9. For guys: Fart really heavily on the chessboard. Then resume play.
10. For kids: Pick your nose and don't wipe your hands whenever you move your own pieces. The opponent will feel less inclined to make captures.
Fey_Fey wrote: We all have a Dwight Schrute at work. We all need a Dwight Schrute at work. No matter where you are posted to work, even if it is in the boiler room; there will be a Dwight Schrute.
There is a Dwight Schrute on every desk where I work.
ivandh wrote: Fey_Fey wrote: We all have a Dwight Schrute at work. We all need a Dwight Schrute at work. No matter where you are posted to work, even if it is in the boiler room; there will be a Dwight Schrute.
There is a Dwight Schrute on every desk where I work.
That I am afraid will be one Dwight too many in one section of work.
throw your opponent off... by making a seemingly useless queen pawn trade in the opening phase of the game.
smsjr723 wrote: throw your opponent off... by making a seemingly useless queen pawn trade in the opening phase of the game.
Ahahaha!!! I tried that. It didn't work T_T'
See: http://www.chess.com/forum/view/game-analysis/my-worst-game-on-chesscom
i fear i am the Dwight Schrute of chess.com....
when is that show coming back?? it was what held my life together...