What strange chess rules can you think up?

I like it -- women would win more games, by maintaining their concentration.

I prefer woman vs woman, I'll be a spectator 

So we all agree, chess should be played naked?  I bet HBO or Cinamax would air it!

I prefer that Weiner play with himself and I'll log out immediately when that happens.

The pieces should be Jenkinized to include Jenkins and Henry.

You'd stick around, lol! 

...chess 960?

Let Black have the first move.

...have four color pieces, one on each end of the board set back two squares like Chinese checkers...or introduce the "physical option a la Harry Potter into all checks and captures with the final result....

The players should not be allowed to touch the pieces. You need a cat to move your pieces for you. If the cat moves the wrong piece, it just goes down as a blunder.

Mines that destroy pieces that move onto a square with a mine. 

When playing both players must play in Halloween costumes!

...use dice to decide the rank and file you must move to...or just play backgammon or Texas Hold'em and put the chess set in the closet as a quaint remberence of a great game ruined by over analysis and computers.  Chess was so much fun at the university in the 1970's when we would stay up all night smoking and playing 5 minute for quarters.  I would not trade those happy times for all the oil in the middle east.  But now, I find myself slipping back into apathy.  Simple basic principles from Nimzovich and Fischer and Morphy and Hans Kmoch and Smyslov and Levenfish...books?  I have 100+ and they are an interesting anacrocism of an age pasted.  Now my son plays video games and is deeply involved in Starcraft and killing Zerg.  For all we have gained, look what we lost.

When you promote a pawn to the I Like Trains Kid then you can use a move to clear all of your opponent's pieces off that rank the I Like Trains Kid is on. He moves like a fairy chess locust.

Or use a move to place a knight on a piece or turn a piece upside down so it moves like the fairy chess piece that it looks like

Each player flips a coin to try to knock off a piece, if a piece is knocked off it stays off and the game resumes.

Or you can promote to Mine Turtle when it gets captured every piece 1 tile away from it gets captured and it moves like a king

You can split pieces up into lesser pieces and combine pieces together.

Elevation Chess: You can move any minor piece on top of the rook, who can the move it to a new square. Advantages: Change bishop colour. Move slow knights. Disadvantage: If the rook is caught both the rook and the minor piece are lost. Knockover rule: If you accidently knock one of your pieces over, it is removed from the game. Flying King: Same rule as is in Chinese Chess. If there are no pieces on the file/row that separate the two kings, the player can move his king and capture the other.