You and a large black bird are playing chess. Who wins?
The large black bird - you got rooked.
You and So-and-So are Playing Chess, Who Wins?
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You and your Czechoslovakian spouse are playing chess. Who wins?
Your spouse. You were Czech-mated.
You and Picasso are playing chess. Who wins?
Neither of you. You were drawn.
wittyney should be perhaps your username?Lol
You and Trump are playing chess. Who wins?
You do. Trump only works in card games.