Your funniest lie :)

Ooooh!  Can I play?

I taught God how to play chess....and he hasn't beaten me yet.

As long as it's not in what they're the champion at.

I would like to thank fracklefrit for his post...

Oh my God, that's a lie too!  Oh stop, I can't breathe!

"Hey, nice catch Julie!" (oh no, another one!)...

(Still, I must say that Julie was cute as heck...and that is no lie.) 

My favorite President:

A guy who wouldn't have a thing to add to this thread:

I booked a flight to heaven and beat Fischer twice there. And I
 returned.  

Hey, you guys are even funnier than loudy & the gang!

Can you believe this?! (am I on a roll or what?)...

I kant reed butt I kan speel

I am smart.

I once told a drunk guy that if he were to lie across the train tracks the oncoming train would pass over without doing him any harm... and he totally did it!

Certainly someone must have a flogger in their hand and a devious grin while making these comments.

It's best to pee into the wind.

Yeah, what a lousy way to lose a bet.  I thought for sure I'd not only win the bet, but was also going to get to pick through his pockets.

Lady GaGa is a great role model.