Beating people OTB is awkward

I really hate that awkward moment when I completely annihilate a significantly lower rated player OTB. I've never figured out what I'm supposed to say.

Option 1: Be "nice"

"Good game!"

"You played well!"

Anything of the like sounds insincere and patronizing.

Option 2: Give advice

"Your mistake was going into the bongcloud"

"You should work on your tactics"

This is completely fine if you actually know the person, and you know that they'll respond well to this type of thing. But if you don't know them, you come off as an asshole.

Option 3: Say nothing.

That's enough social interaction for one day; time to crawl back to your dark basement.

Option 4: Offer Rematch

Delaying the inevitable, and making it worse.

Anyone have any suggestions?

I never offer advice unless the other player asks for advice, and I won't say "good game" if the other player played terribly since such a comment would be insincere and somewhat insulting. I usually say "thanks for the game." If the other person requests a postmortem and I have the time, I will go over the game with the losing player.

Hmmm, I really like "thanks for the game". Still sounds like an empty pleasantry, but it takes out that condescending bite. And maybe combining that with a subsequent "would you like to go over the game" if they seem receptive.

Great suggestions people!

That was no mistake

I totally agree with FirebrandX.

If I am not to exhausted i always ask if he/she wants to analyse the game with me. It is always interesting.

But one day I didnt. My opponent looked really bad after an exhausting game. I was rated 700 points below and mated him in 78 moves. 

Usually I loose, and benefit from interesting analysis.

I seldom does this on the internet. I should try to do it here too.

OPTION 5: After you checkmate them ask in a polite, respectful tone: 

"Have you ever played chess before?"

i just say gg and ask, do you want to look over the game 

as someone who frequently looses otb, especially by young people. l'm most happy with just a handshake and "thank's for the game."l don't want to go over the game-l just want to take a nap before the next round.

Funny anecdote about Euwe. In 1970 or so he was on an airplane and the passenger next to him was studying a miniature chess board. The guy challenged Euwe to a game. At one point Euwe made an en passant capture. The amateur was confused about the en passant rule and told Euwe he thought the move was illegal. Instead of arguing and explaining Euwe genially took the move back and played something else. After the game as the amateur was ruefully looking over the wreckage of his position, Euwe heard him mutter to himself "How could I lose this badly to a beginner who doesn't even know the rules?". :)

I'm curious. In Live Chess, is it possible to do a post mortem?

Euwe be like "ewww..."

I think many people tend to underrate Euwe since he doesn't seem quite as phenomenal as other former world champions. But he was a brilliant tactician and I highly recommend studying his games.

The problem here in the US is that time controls get faster and faster so there really is so little time between rounds very few people want to go over the game any more ... they simply don't have the time . I have always taken the approach that its the loser who should initiate anything after losing a game , he should indicate to the winner if he wants to analyze the game or not .  Another problem with faster time controls is that I rarely have an accurate and complete score sheet anymore because when you are playing G/60 and even faster time controls one or both players will get below 5 minutes in the game and its usual at this point for one or both players to stop keeping score . 

I've always done it the other way around, offer advices to the loser and say where he went wrong.  G/60 is actually my favorite time control, anything shorter and one can't meaningfully size up all the arising critical positions and formulate a meaningful plan and longer times (the six hours per side format) are too strenuous.  One could play a good game at even 20 minutes per side, but the quality of play sinks quite a bit compared to an hour.  I always use a delay for G/20 to account for writing the moves down.  A G/20 game that I'm not proud of despite winning:

Going over the game together would be part of the social aspect of chess. But, if they start showing attitude, then forget it. It is only a game.

Well you could say: "Have you considered purchasing "Chess for Dummies"?

But seriously.

a. "Thanks for the game."

b. A handshake. Optional. Sometimes you can tell that maybe you should not extend your hand.

c. Silence. Unless asked. Who doesn't dislike those who offer unsolicited advice?

I appreciate such offer, because i want to take something home, a victory, or some learning.

What's worse is going to a tournament and losing to a 10-year-old...I heard..ahem.

I learned it's impossible to play my cousin after a dozen or so OTB games. So instead of worrying about saying anything after the game, I just realized that it's in the best interest of peace and harmony to just not play him anymore.

So if you are dealing with a prick or poor sport (or both), just walk away.

One of this years losses was to a 9 or ten year old girl in my club. She really trashed me in an opening I wasnt good at. I was beyond repair after 15 moves. It didnt hurt, I was more proud of our little girl.

Last autumn I had an interesting loss to a 11 year old boy, William Sandberg Olsen.  The best part was the post mortem. How that little boy helped analyse. He sat there like a professor. If someone had taken a picture it would look like it was the other way around.

I