Chess Caption Contest

  Every time the pressure gets too great for you, you start clicking your heels.  I wish you wouldn't do that.

  That's your knees bony knees knocking.  I was you wouldn't wear those Bermuda shorts to matches. 

  At least I didn't wear one those free chess.com T-shirts like you did once to a match.  Didn't help you win either, as I remember. 

  Have you checked your clock lately.  You realize it isn't standing still, don't you?

  Don't use the word "still" to me during a match.  It gives me the shakes.

  " son...is that you ? "

  " Dad..? oh gheez.."

 Edit:  kco beat me to the punch.

LOL   

Those chess games jokes don't make sense as they both are playing with black anyway (Klauser already has castled too)

spoiler

"This guy sure is taking a long time to move..."

"I knew I shouldn't have chosen 14-day time controls..."

A LONG TIME LATER:

"Ah, he finally moved... Wait, where are my glasses?"

can you believe he looked close enough to tell that we were not playing each other?

no kidding, i can't even tell you castled and i am sitting right next to you. 

Play vs. Computer - Can you make it crash?

Rybka is Dumb!

Why are you looking at me like that??

Why haven't you shaved??

I don't use razor!

I could give you mine, its top notch...

No thanks, chicks dig me like this :)

 You look like freakin chessmaster guy

 I wish i played like him too! :)

hahaha - "You look like freakin chessmaster guy"  you're right.  he just needs the wizard robe and the swirly background. 

Good eye!

 Why do you think Rybka is dumb?  I learned some of my best moves from it.

  (Must I play this idiot?)

White hair guy: Moustache man! Do you really play chess and look at poor innocent children like that?

+

=

" 'ang on a minute. Are we allowed to both play black?"

Chilli

Or, since they are both looking to the left, they could be playing skittles after a tournament and sitting cater-corner from each other.  That would explain why they are both looking left and both playing black.

Nunn's Chess Openings, 2020 edition, by John Nunn and Amish Giri

 My game's really improved since retiring, but my social life sure has suffered.

Chess is OK for meeting people, but maybe you need to take up another hobby.

Does a beard count as a hobby?

 I win!