100% Foolproof System

Yes, you read that correctly.  I have discovered an absolutely unerring system that works every single time.  I'm not kidding.  It is also simple (just three easy-to-remember principles) and it is as effective against grandmasters as it is against patzers regardless of your own skill or rating!  Absolutely true!  So, with apologies to Nimzowitsch, here is My System:

1. Drop a pawn in the opening.

2. Fight like crazy in the middlegame until you blunder away a piece.

3. Resign during the endgame.

I have used this system in dozens, even hundreds, of games and it has never failed me yet.  Trust me on that! 😀

kaynight—That's a meaningless Chess.com correspondence rating.  Thank you for your unique sense of humor.  It really livens up the place.