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1. You must not develop your pieces until the endgame, so that it becomes easier for you to win with all the pieces.
2. Make sure you distract your opponent so that he gets mad and resigns.
3. If your opponent has a lot higher rating than you, keep moving the same piece back and forth 3 times so that it will result a draw.(like this)
I was telling my opponent about my grandmas stomach tumor, he said he would complain that I was disturbing his thought process.. Thats the point right? Its not at all embarassing to try our best to save a game imo :P
Ahh, the good old fashsioned derpaderp system, though I think 4...d3 is a new way to combat that system. The derpaderp is extremely rare anyway, and it's better just playing 2.Nf3. Then, 2...e5 3.d4 is in the spirit of the Van Geet.