3 reasons how to play chess

2. Make sure you distract your opponent so that he gets mad and resigns.

3. If your opponent has a lot higher rating than you, keep moving the same piece back and forth 3 times so that it will result a draw.(like this)

I was telling my opponent about my grandmas stomach tumor, he said he would complain that I was disturbing his thought process.. Thats the point right? Its not at all embarassing to try our best to save a game imo :P

Ahh, the good old fashsioned derpaderp system, though I think 4...d3 is a new way to combat that system.  The derpaderp is extremely rare anyway, and it's better just playing 2.Nf3. Then, 2...e5 3.d4 is in the spirit of the Van Geet.