I offer my sincere sympathy to you and your friends.
A "Carnegie Hall" Tribute to IM Daniel Rensch!
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LOL....I am a singer/songwriter, book and article writer, lyracist, poet, etc..nowadays more for myself.
I wanted to see just how deep and crazy I could make this little quip.
As I stated in the start of it, IT IS CERTAINLY a writing of the sincerest flattery to Daniel.
He'll "get it."
It's a compliment in jest.
Peace!
JS/BF
John, I thought this was great! I actually laughed out loud several times :)
Wow, awesome!!! I am totally flattered John... And yeah, I "get it" and am not worried about you... well maybe a little 
... Thanks, John -- maybe someday you will be hosting a roast of me (as I am sure there are lots of people waiting to get in on that event).
HaHa!
I knew with your quick wit, that you would enjoy it Danny! It was a lot of fun! And with both chess, music, and writing, as a few of my favorite activities, it made the creative thinking process just that much more thrilling to be doing!
Peace!
JS/BF
***THE FOLLOWING TOOK ME NEARLY 3 HOURS TO WRITE AND EDIT! AND IS AN ABSOLUTE 150% TRIBUTE TO MY CHESS MENTOR AND HERO, IM DANNY "POPPA BEAR" RENSCH! Its ABSOLUTE INTENT IS TO BE TAKEN IN A "ROASTING" TYPE ATTITUDE OUT OF COMPLETE AND UTTER RESPECT! I HOPE YOU ALL ENJOY! ESPECIALLY YOU DANNY. A MILLION THANKS FOR ALL OF YOUR NON-STOP WISDOM AND WIT. REMEMBER, "NEVER APOLOGIZE TO ANY ONE!" LMAO! YOU'RE THE BEST! -John Spenard aka BrootFaus****
This is what I envision for a "The Chess.com Video Awards and Achievements Show" with "Poppa Bear" himself as the Guest of Honor....
The lights dim the vast Standing Room Only venue at some place known as "Carnegie Hall"....the soothing concerto begins to play as we see an immense film screen drop down with still images of play from some of the greatest players in all of chess history...
Alekhine, Morphy, Lasker, Fischer, Spassky, Kasparov, Kramnik, Kamsky, Karpov, Anand, Topalov, Ivanchuk, Carlsen....the list seems to go on forever...and then...the screen is now Dark once again...a magical crescendo crashes through this enormous chasm!
BAM! Like "ramparts bursting in air", the orchestra flares it's nostrils once again as we now read the awesome screen before us...
"We have shown you some of the brightest, most brilliant minds in ALL of chess history....
The music slows to a crawl as the screen darkens yet again, and with another vicious attack, from the horn section this time!...
"NOW let's meet your maker!!!"...
The Great IM Daniel Rensch FILLS the screen and Hall with his likeness, and NOW with audible words, along with the still uneasy jolts of brass, strings, and percussion from way down below, the voice booms on.
The great auditorium shakes with the synchronous cries of a colossal orgasm as the film and voice begin...
"With a Knight on f8, there is no checkmate!"..."I'm taking this guy to Smash Town, just south of Ouch town!", "My kid now thinks that Diaper town is a real place!"...
A montage of moving video, sound, and shrieks of fainting women, AND men fill the immense vastness.
"Really? Really?! Is that what you're doing? Take THAT buttercup! This guy is such an idiot!"...the cheers ensue....
Poppa! Poppa! Poppa!
"The Wave" begins to crest, but becomes more like a great Tidal Wave! The bodies of Kings, Queens, and their "minors" are now washing up faster and faster upon the shores of The Chess World with each deafening chant! "Poppa Bear!" Poppa Bear!"
"The only thing left is the crying, baby!"....the film continuing its forward movement into the annals of history...
We now hear multiple rants from the already legendary "Carlsen vs. The World" commentary! Already being compared to Fischer's "Game of The Century" for shear brilliance and tactical prowess in the area of broadcasting!
Chess International Magazine already calls him "The Shock Jock of Chess Video, and TV!"...further stating "What Howard Stern, and Marilyn Manson have done for radio, and music, IM Daniel Rensch has ALREADY done for chess by the young age of only 25!...THEY better hope to live to be 100!"
The screen darkens once more...several seconds pass by...the orchestra feels a bit strained now, having given all they had for this amazing 11 minutes of chess history in the making....
The screen finally reads..."and for our collective minds' absolute favorite INDIVIDUAL montage of verbal assault and enthusiasm!"....now just audio...
"Let's do it again kids! A little Checka-rooski, a checka-la-schlamba, checka-leena-la-bamba, Check-and-a-half, and, slam jam!"
And the crowd goes wild!
Ending the much talked about, 11 minute, 2.3 MILLION DOLLAR OPENING ceremony!
"Please welcome, the one, the only, International Master, Daniel "Danny aka Poppa Bear-la-Schlamba" Rensch!!!
...as the lights blind the area where past and present Presidents, Kings, and Queens, and other of the World's most notables have cast their eyes, The Great IM Daniel Rensch saunters out from backstage; each of his steps marking the great passage of time.
The rafters begin to shake slowly, and then quickening into an unbearable audible shriek, as they begin to now violently begins to shake. The great centuries old timbers twist and splinter as they fall and crash downward from their mighty perches, column tensile strengths are no match for this pandemonium!
Great bright glaring waves of the reddest beams of light blind the auditorium.
The President himself is escorted out of the building to safety through only the most secret of this legendary building's passages.
The Army National Guard has already been contacted!
An amazing night of chess stardom and tribute indeed!!!
.............
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I hope that you enjoyed the accolades!...Much peace brother Danny!!! ;)
And to all!...
-John Spenard aka BrootFaus