Anger is RUINING my Chess [Please Help]

Jajakilroy

You're pissed off because you have a bad ego.

jerry1228

Nice lol. Sometimes having breaks helps. Personally when I'm angry i never actually think of having a break and i end up breaking stuff ()

motherinlaw

I came here to resolve my anger AND I JUST SEE PEOPLE TRYING TO BE WISE. IS THERE A SOLUTION.

 

Hey there, sweetie.  Your words above sound angry, but your avatar looks sad, and the way you describe yourself (in French) sounds like you feel somehow powerless or small. (which is why I felt like calling you "sweetie," even though I don't know you.  No offense intended -- it's just something we little old ladies sometimes do.)

I gather I might have been one of the commenters you saw as "trying to be wise."  To tell the truth, I am pretty wise about feelings.  And I do wish I could offer you a quick fix for those surges of anger you'd like to see resolved, but I can’t -- I’m definitely not that wise.  And I agree with whoever said there’s no "one fits all” solution.

But if you do decide to start exploring your anger, I can give you a signpost to look for along the path, and it was your avatar that made me think of it.  

(OK.  Now, brace yourself for some more "wisdom” — or -- just stop reading here.  Seriously, I mean it.  I won't be at all offended if you stop.  I honestly  hate wasting anybody's time.)  

All right, so here's the thing with anger:  we all tend to think of anger as a basic human feeling, like happy, sad, excited, sleepy, hungry, embarrassed,  etc.  But “anger" is a really a "secondary" emotional state.  Any kind of anger (from irritation to rage) is always a response to the presence of two deeper feelings:  pain and fear.  When anybody gets stuck in a painful place — feeling hurt, helpless, trapped, with no way out -- angry feelings are almost  inevitable.

Since I have no idea what things might have hurt you and scared you in the past, I wouldn't begin to give you advice about dealing with that stuff.  But if you do decide to explore it some time, here's one way to find the "solution"  you're looking for.  Keep an eye out for a fork in the road, where one sign reads "H & H."  ("Hurt plus Helpless"), and the other says "IGGTMSOB-EiiM!" ("I'm Gonna Get That Miserable (well, you get that part) -- Even if it's Me!")  And maybe some time, you'll take a chance on the "H & H" path, and ending up picking up a whole bunch of your own wisdom (always the best kind) along the way -- even having some fun in the process. I do wish you good luck. 

 

SarahVerginiaLou
Every time I play chess I lose. So it’s natural to get angry.
lelouchesstar

Jesus! this still ahs comments since 2017 grin.png

Well it's relaly simple to handle, this only needs a change of how one expect to see the results.
Everyone usually feels great after victory because there was a challenge and was not only completed but won thats the usual way one focus. while the other side looks for victory cos they really feel that part important as well.
Then again if instead of focusing like that one does understand that every training gets results even if one just started at it, therefore more than the result at the board (or game) one should analyze and check what was learned on that game, what was the important moves, doing this can lvl up the game and just be happy and play more cos practice and analyzing games bring results. Good Gaming grin.png 

Thee_Ghostess_Lola

wouldnt it be hilarious if chess ruined your anger ?...iows u won sooo much all the time that....that....oh nvm. 

Susik_Gaboyan

https://chessmood.com/blog/learn-the-right-lessons-from-your-mistakes read this and more articles, I hope they will help you.

i-shot-the-sheriff
Thee_Ghostess_Lola wrote:

wouldnt it be hilarious if chess ruined your anger ?...iows u won sooo much all the time that....that....oh nvm. 

i luv this kind of viewpoint thumbup.png

i-shot-the-sheriff
Susik_Gaboyan wrote:

https://chessmood.com/blog/learn-the-right-lessons-from-your-mistakes read this and more articles, I hope they will help you.

this gets a thumbup.png as well happy.png