Are drawn games a ripoff? Why no sudden death?

When there are just two kings on the board, why can one not prevail?  Seems like two kings in real life,  hand to hand combat, one could prevail.  Why is there no sudden death option, or some kind of thing like first king to touch 32 squares twice or 16 or 8 squares twice wins or something?

rock, paper, scissors

The two players would have to engage in physical combat using only their kings as weapons. First one to poke the opponent's chest three times with their king wins.

First person that blinks, has to drink, eat or use the bathroom loses?

I think blinking alone is adequate.

But I still like my idea better. It's more fun to watch.

Just imagine: in the first round of a tournament, two grandmasters manage to achieve a drawn position. They then pick up their kings, hold it in front of their chest, then en garde! The two chess-playing elites now fighting to the death for the first point of the tournament. I think it can turn elite-level chess into a spectator sport!