Bummed Out When I Lose - Help

Small background - I started playing 3.5 months ago and was probably a 900 player.  Now I've moved up to in the 1300's.  Question:  When I lose, I'm bummed out till the next game and when I win, I'm elated.  Is this common, or am I putting too much emphasis on winning?  Thanks for input.  (note: I DO take losses with a grain of salt however and move on though, as I know I'm improving.) 

Well... I do the same. It's much worse if I made a dumb mistake and lost because of it.

Yeah, it's just a game, and you're never going to win them all. chessgames.com shows Kasparov with only a 69.9% win rate from 1973 - 2011, so even he was losing 3 games out of every 10. You can improve just as much by losing games as by winning them.

Yes, usually it's because I've made a blunder, I'm not so bummed out when it was a close game and I played well. 

BTW, my goal then and is now, to become a 1500 player by October. 

Cool! I've been playing for a year and aren't really going anywhere - not playing enough I guess. But if your goal involves rating gains like that, then yes, every setback (such as a loss) will be disappointing. Anyway, I thought Cripple Creek was only a fiddle tune (which I first played a few years ago), not a city.  Learn something new every day.

I am the same exact way. I hate losing when I make a horrible mistake. This weekend, for instance, I calculated a sequence of moves ~6 moves deep that resulted in me winning a pawn. But I missed afterwards that my important bishop was hanging. If you make a mistake and lose, it's ok to be frustrated or bummed out because you didn't play your best. If you play a great game and was just outplayed, it's really difficult to be angry because you weren't going to win playing your best, which you did. 

Someone has to win - and if you lose, it's a happy end for your opponent.  Wish them "Good Game".   

Play a lot of games - you'll learn that losing happens.    

Try to play some openings you're unfamiliar with - just to see what happens.   There's a greater chance to lose.

Play people much better than you are - just to learn.  Oh, and you may lose too.

I've been where you are - don't get stuck in this rut.   Go out and play a couple of dozen games right now.   

I've always hated losing (still do).  Not sure what you're complaining about though...sounds like you've improved an awful lot in a very short time. 

The less experienced you are the more blunders you will make. So you could blunder and be playing your best even with blunders cause you are focusing more on how the pieces move and your opponents threats intstead of thinking at a more complex level that a higher rated player would. So I wouldn't get upset even about blundering cause every beginner does that a lot when they play the game (cause every beginner's brain has to get used to not making moves that hang pieces).

Thanks for all the comments.  It hit me.  It's like having a 2 move smothered mate, but you just don't see it because you're too close.    I've been studying and playing 2-4 hours every day for 100 days straight, thus, I need to take a break.  Probably will do me a lot of good.  So per Timothy, et al, I'm going up Cripple Creek and have a little fun. 

Gee, i didn't think anybody took chess too seriously

WIN!

I think if you lose but have given it your best shot you shouldn't feel bad. It's always tough to swallow blundering moves...but you know...make every move to the best of your ability and if the other guy plays better then, well...you know that's the way she goes

Well, Losing Hurts more when we give it our best shot. It shows that even though we gave it our all we couldnt succeed in winning. But if we play casually and lose..it doesnt feel that bad.
Just keep on practicing, not only will it help improve ur rating but it will also reduce the blunders from your games and thus ur winning rate will increase and u wont have to lose anymore.

A player can only improve if he hates losing so much that he improves himself in order to win.

Surely he drew some?

In order to improve, it is necessary to lose. Sure, you could choose to play only 700-ranked opponents and win all the time, but what's the point? Anger at a loss is good. It gives you motivation to improve.

Rejoyce in the moment when you pick up a piece, put it down, remove your hand, slap your time clock, and realize what a huge blunder you just made.  My strategic advisors (aka the "army of hopefuls" ) standy ready to assist you.

I've almost taken a full 24 hours off. lol, and chomping at the bit to play again.  Yes, I had been only playing those rated 50-150 pts higher than me, so have been losing a lot, around 60%.  Seems there are plateaus, you lose 5 in a row, make some big change, then you may win 5 in a row and reach another level.  So yes, I've realized to be improving, one will be losing a lot.  LIke someone said, you probably learn more from losses than wins.

 I like what Chess_Freak and CrazyChessPlaya said, makes sense.  Anyway, so yesterday I went and played some poker, Texas Hold'em.  Sat there being very patient, throwing away hand after hand for about 30 hands, until the big one hit.  I had pocket Kings, raised it up maximum, limit game, 3 others still called.  Flop came 4,5,7 rainbow.  I bet max, 1 guy called and the other raised.  WTH!!  So I called, he was a wild man, I thought he was just trying to slow me down, so when the turn hit a King, giving me a set (trips) I bet out.  He raised again!  What do you think he had?  I was thinking two pair maybe.   Sure didn't think he had what he had.  He had 6,8.  The crazy guy had called my preflop raise with a 6,8 offsuit.  Anyway, I raised my last chips on his raise turn bet.  He too was all in.  My heart sank when he turned his 6,8 over and announced straight.  Another guy was calling us both, we never saw his hand, didn't matter.  The river card paired the board with a lovely 5.  I raked the massive pot, pulled a Bobby Fischer, quit and got the heck outta there, wishing them all adeau.

    Reminded me, one should be patient in chess also, develop well your pieces first before attacking.  I probably had been getting too much in a hurry, trying to attack like Tal or Morphy, before getting well developed.  And yes, helps to know that Garry Kasparov lost 30% of his games - didn't know that.

    Good Game.   

Fair point. The 69.9% "win rate" includes half-point draws, i.e. half of the drawn games are in the 69.9% wins, the other half are in the 30.1% losses.

Good life lesson.  Get all your chips in the pot when you're behind, and good things are sure to come your way.