chess cliches

I once heard one of my friends say "There's more penetration in this game than there is in a porn movie."

A "poisoned pawn"

Monster Bishops!

Fork you, you Forking Fork.

Classic absoloute classic!

I just used a cliche, "Kicking and screaming." I used it once before, referring to how I'll be in a losing position making an attempt at counterplay with swindles or perpetual checks with the hopes of either a draw or neutralizing.

"Trying to make some mess on the board in a losing position... but to no avail"

Most of these aren't cliches but important phrases used in chess. Saying something is drawish is not a cliche if it is drawish. Just like saying "goal" in soccer is not a cliche if someone just scored a goal. Cliches are meant to be statements said so often that they lose their meaning.

why do I lose to such idiots 

Yeah, that's pretty much it.

"Is this a new opening"

and..baaaammmm!

"Invinted a new opining"

Ah.. Inven'ed. Lol.

e4,"best by test!"

Testin'... testin'... Un, two, three...

And here on move 23 we see an "Opening novelty"

"patzer sees check,gives check"

as they say "if in doubt CHECK it out"

ya get me