Chess Ethics Part 2: Did I do the right thing?

It turns out my opponent with the white pieces was this sultry slinky scantily dressed seductress with a body so incredible, I couldn't say for sure what her face looked like. She kept intentionally leaning forward while pushing out her immodestly covered jugs of milk and honey. I knew the game she was playing but I admit it, she was getting inside my head and if I didn't do something quickly, I was going to lose because my concentration was fading fast. 
 
I went to the restroom to clear my mind and then suddenly the solution came to me. I decided to fight fire with fire! I strutted over to the board but this time without my pants. Luckily that night I happened to be wearing some sexy purple Armani boxer shorts. I knew this wouldn't be enough of a distraction, so for insurance purposes I stuffed the front of the boxers with about a half pound of rolled up paper towels. I sat down and leaned back in my chair. My plan worked like a charm as her eyes became transfixed where a lady's eyes shouldn't. Advantage Black -/+.
 
She moved a pawn and in a nervous squeaky voice offered me a draw. I declined. I made my move and got up to pour myself a cup of coffee and when I returned her hypnotized glazed expression had disappeared and had been replaced with a look of cold indignation. I turned back to see my beloved paper towels had relocated and taken up residence on the floor by the coffee pot. Advantage White  +/-.
 
I moved a pawn and in a nervous squeaky voice offered her a draw. She declined. My mind felt like a soft boiled potato waiting to be mashed. Her pieces began moving in for the kill. Tiny pools of perspiration began forming on my forehead. I didn't know what to do. Just at that moment the
janitor came in and said "Anybody lose a pair of pants? I found these in the bathroom." Everyone in the club pointed at me.  I thanked the janitor and reached in my pants to retrieve my enormous wallet and tipped him a five spot. My wallet is enormous not because it has a lot of money but because it contains every receipt I ever got from the last four years.

Strangely enough, my opponent suddenly had that hypnotic glazed look on her face again. Apparently she's into fat wallets. She eagerly asked me what kind of car I drove. I decided to bluff and said, "Honey, if you're looking for a ride home, I never allow strangers in my limo." Equal position =. She smiled nervously and asked me if I wanted a draw. I accepted, gave her a wink, patted her on the head, then grabbed my pants along with my enormous wallet and ran out of the building.

"immodestly covered jugs of milk and honey"

Excuse me if I'm wrong, but I don't think that breasts contain any honey

Edit: Dangit, now I can't drink my tea.

Personally, I think you let yourself down badly.

If she'd asked me about the car, I'd have resigned on the spot and suggested that there's a few other moves worth considering that can lead to mating.

This sound like pulp fiction, I would play my game as usual and deal with the milk and honey afterwords.