Chess is WAR!!!

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Avatar of cheater_1

Chess is WAR!!! True, there are rules to be followed in war, but I like to refer to them as guidelines. I hate politics, but look at all the rules the Bush REGIME has broken (can anyone say waterboarding?) The ultimate goal is to win, just as Piers Morgan pummeled that redneck Trace Adkins in the Celebrity Apprentice (can anyone say nice guys finish last), chess is about winning--it's not a popularity contest. I like to see that little black mark in the win column. I don't care how it got there, I want it there. And you, dear opponent, are nothing more than an obstacle trying to prevent me from putting that litle black mark there. I wont allow it. It goes against everything that I am about. I view myself as a chess warlord.

Just as poker players wear sunglasses to hide their true thoughts as well as intimidate their opponents, I plaster a smug smirk on my face when I play OTB and smile all the while as I decimate your forces. I have beaten a few players who hold ratings higher than I have with this slimy tactic. Some have confessed later that they wanted nothing more than to jump over the  table and bash my face in. OTB players, use whatever you have in your arsenal to win, whether it be a smirk, a snicker after a move, or a snide comment as you got your opponent on the ropes. Psychological warfare. I may not be the most likeable chess player, but I am the Piers Morgan of the chess world. I deliver.


Avatar of Rael

 

Chess... HUH!! What is it good for? Aaaabsolutely nothin'.


Avatar of Thegoobkid
its good for bullying other people who are better and more co-ordinated at physical sports than you are
Avatar of vagamundo
It's about winning: YES! Do you have to be a prick to get there? NO!
Avatar of Rael

 

This just in... George Bush plays chess with no (exit) strategy. 


Avatar of Shruikon
I actually read an article about how two GMs playing OTB had to have a partition built under the table because they kept kicking each other!
Avatar of tas58
Rael wrote:

 

Chess... HUH!! What is it good for? Aaaabsolutely nothin'.


Say it again....Listen to me...Smile


Avatar of d33my
Shruikon wrote: I actually read an article about how two GMs playing OTB had to have a partition built under the table because they kept kicking each other!

 haha how immature! i would expect that from 5 year olds!


Avatar of PawnFork
Chess answers the question of who is the better player of a particular game, unless you are playing with someone who is convinced that it is some sort of IQ test.
Avatar of KingFork
Agreed pawnfork - we are engaged in battle.  I've long said that instead of war any dissagreement between countries be solved via chess tournament.   Also, it feels nice to decimate an army and conquer someone's leader without actually killing anyone.
Avatar of Frapplo
Ugh!  Another post!  He's goaded me into committing another hate crime! 
Avatar of PhilipN

Have you thought of the possible effects of replacing war with chess as a means of solving international problems?

1. Boot camp would be replaced by Chess camp.

2. The money that goes to defense research (such as the research that happens at Area 51) would go toward research into chess strategy.  Instead of scientists being paid to develop the next weapon or fighting vehicle, they'd be sitting around delving into the complexities of some new opening variation.

(I get the feeling that I've got a good list coming on...if anyone has any additions to the list please feel free to post them).

 


Avatar of Rael

Great idea, PhilipN, until just one country decides to not abide by the rules and just go with the good old way of violence.

 

National chess soldier 1: What are they opening with?

National chess soldier 2: Looks like 1. Nukes.

National chess soldier 1: What is the standard book refutation for 1. Nukes?

National chess soldeir 2: There isn't a move 2. It actually reads, 1. Nukes#.

 


Avatar of judgeofthenight
russo-bulgar alliance would get the world if  we replaced chess with war.they have Kasparov and Karpov and Kramnik and Spassky.
Avatar of fredjohn

chess is simillar with life.its like u r the captain of your boat, the general of your troops...everything is complicated,inevitable,crushing but its fun...chess make one mature,reasoning is alibi. when u do chess its simply what u are. your emotions evaluates your move...its life,imaginable.

 


Avatar of Rael
judgeofthenight wrote: russo-bulgar alliance would get the world if  we replaced chess with war.they have Kasparov and Karpov and Kramnik and Spassky.

 

Yeah man, but.. Fischer. He's like, our Rambo. 


Avatar of EnGliSHCheSsPlAy
Rael wrote: judgeofthenight wrote: russo-bulgar alliance would get the world if  we replaced chess with war.they have Kasparov and Karpov and Kramnik and Spassky.

 

Yeah man, but.. Fischer. He's like, our Rambo. 


OK...But Rambo is not dead


Avatar of NimbleKnight
Make love not chess.
Avatar of NimbleKnight
Chess is hell.
Avatar of PhilipN

I am not so naive to think such a strategy would be workable, especially since the whole idea of a just war is to kill the bad guys before they can kill even more people than they already have (checkmate does not forcibly prevent the loser of the chess game from perpetrating evil acts).

Someone made a comment about President Bush not having an exit strategy...when I play chess I do not promise at the beginning of the game to resign if I don't win in a certain number of moves.


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