Chess Jokes


These are all ridiculously bad..."open foyer" was about the only clever thing in the whole thread, and it's a really bad pun.
Better chess joke:
A chess master died - after a few days, a friend of his heard a voice; it was him!
"What's it like, where you are now," he asked.
"What do you want to hear first, the good news or the bad news."
"Tell me the good news first."
"Well, it's really heaven here. There are tournaments and blitz sessions going on all the time and Morphy, Alekhine, Lasker, Tal, Capablanca, Botvinnik, they're all here, and you can play them."
"Fantastic!" the friend said, "and what is the bad news?"
"You have Black against Capablanca on Saturday."

The TD at a chess tournament noticed one of the players fly was open and he whispered to him to close it. They player laughed and said, "Don't worry its only a small thing!"
So you just took a joke and added the TD part to make it about chess?

A man went to visit a friend and was amazed to find him playing chess with his dog. He watched the game in astonishment for a while. "I can hardly believe my eyes!" he exclaimed. "That's the smartest dog I've ever seen." "Nah, he's not so smart," the friend replied. "I've beaten him three games out of five."

You want chess jokes? OK--here's a few
My rating
My talent
My last tournament
My future
My past
My present
I have a lot more if you want them.

A guy walks into a bar with a 4 foot Alligator on a leash and a chess set under his arm. The Bartender runs over to him and says "Hey pal didn't you see the sign that says "No Chess Sets Allowed"?