Chess Jokes

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iggyalfasi
I vote for aflfootys Kasparov joke. Only one that gave me a chuckle.
AussieMatey

Me: Why do you eat so many carrots?

Magnus: They're very popular in Gnaway.

AussieMatey

Opponent: That discovered check loses a piece. Would you like to reconsider?

Me: I'll double check.

IndocronJr
Why did the queen go to the dentist to get her teeth crowned
IndocronJr
Why can't pawns become a king? Because the other king thought they would take his kingdom from him,
IndocronJr
What did the white night say to the king when he was checkmated nighty-night.
IndocronJr
Nope.
IndocronJr
🏵🏅🏵🏅🏅🏵🏵🏅🏅🏅🏅🏅🏅🎖🎖🎖🏆🏆🏆🏆🏆🏆🏆🏆🏆🏆🎗🎗🎖🏅🏵🎖🎗🏅🏅🎖
DiogenesDue

These are all ridiculously bad..."open foyer" was about the only clever thing in the whole thread, and it's a really bad pun.

Better chess joke:

A chess master died - after a few days, a friend of his heard a voice; it was him!
"What's it like, where you are now," he asked.
"What do you want to hear first, the good news or the bad news."
"Tell me the good news first."
"Well, it's really heaven here. There are tournaments and blitz sessions going on all the time and Morphy, Alekhine, Lasker, Tal, Capablanca, Botvinnik, they're all here, and you can play them."
"Fantastic!" the friend said, "and what is the bad news?"
"You have Black against Capablanca on Saturday."

 

macer75
DrFrank124c wrote:

The TD at a chess tournament noticed one of the players fly was open and he whispered to him to close it. They player laughed and said, "Don't worry its only a small thing!"

So you just took a joke and added the TD part to make it about chess?

IndocronJr
No yours is ridiculous bad😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😤😤😤😤
bong711

A man went to visit a friend and was amazed to find him playing chess with his dog. He watched the game in astonishment for a while. "I can hardly believe my eyes!" he exclaimed. "That's the smartest dog I've ever seen." "Nah, he's not so smart," the friend replied. "I've beaten him three games out of five."


Cami3

grin.png cool

dashkee94

You want chess jokes?  OK--here's a few

My rating

My talent

My last tournament

My future

My past

My present

I have a lot more if you want them.

HessianWarrior

A guy walks into a bar with a 4 foot Alligator on a leash and a chess set under his arm. The Bartender runs over to him and says "Hey pal didn't you see the sign that says "No Chess Sets Allowed"?

DiogenesDue
IndocronJr wrote:
No yours is ridiculous bad😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😤😤😤😤

You should probably stick to jokes in your native tongue.  Most of the jokes you have made are kindergarten level humor, which I am sure is not what you actually are capable of or find funny normally.

president_max

they know they suck

president_max

another bad one

IndocronJr
Whatever😑
wilytwister

I invented a few myself years ago.  What do u call a pawn that was about to promote to a Rook?

 

Piglet (if u remember rooks are sometimes called hogs especially on 7th rank)